Theos-Talk Archives (June 1998 Message tt00613)

>Well, that's it, off the top of my head.  Questions?  Comments?

Yes, Paul, I have both.  When is your book scheduled for release?  and Were
you on the program at the Congress?

The following comment is a little off topic, but a feeling I would like to
express anyway.  I sometimes wonder if you have yet achieved the same level
of interaction with ARE that you had with TS. The reason is that you are
comparing two organizations at different stages in your activity within
them.  I also wonder if you don't have some of the same feelings that I do.
 For instance, I LIKED having teachers, authority figures, and writers and
administrators that I could look up to.  I felt there were people in the
T.S. who could answer all of my questions and I felt I would never be
without peers, those with greater understanding, etc.  Now that I have
changed much of what I understood theosophy and THE SECRET DOCTRINE to be,
I don't particularly find others accepting the change in me OR changing
along with me.  Instead I encounter a lot of silence on the subject
completely.

Since I LIKED the authority and "great learning" perception I had of those
I knew at the T.S., I am at a loss in trying to figure out new roles for
everyone.  Since no one that I know can authoritatively discuss my idea
with me, because I don't believe they care to think about it much, I feel a
real loss for companionship where I used to have much endeavor in that area.

I'm not trying to get you to write personally about your role change within
the organization, but maybe YOU don't like to see yourself as the PEAK
personality anywhere.  Maybe you haven't ascended to that role in ARE yet,
but once your book comes out, will that change?  There are lots of things I
don't like about myself, my role, my persona, but I don't want to jump to
conclusions about whether I can continue learning at the TS.  I want to
take my time and feel my way around in the dark for a few more years at
least before really finding there are no longer any strong ties -
indicating a HEALTHY relationship - that exist for me in the TS.

I don't really think I'm capable of understanding that the masters whom I
love dearly could not be present for me any more through the study of
thesophy.  The two have gone hand in hand for so long.

Yours truly,

Brenda

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