Theos-Talk Archives (October 2000 Message tt00112)

Chuck:

You're certainly aware that there are many different
cultures, times, and places where sitting still, quietly,
is considered the highest excellence -- and others where
it's considered repressive and offering no real value.
This applies to both adults as well as children.

A biker dude may not be happy without a drink and a
bar room fight. Another person may need to be in a hang
glider in order to feel like life's really happening.
Others, of a different persuasion, are happy when curled
up with a book, or perhaps sitting in serene, but severe
Zazen meditation. One approach is extroverted; the other
is introverted. Who's right?

Each society, group of people, family, sets their own
standards. Visiting them, we can be courteous or rude,
depending upon our intentions. As simple visitors we might
try to fit in with the status quo of the people or place
we visit, being transparent and blending in with everyone
and everything else.

We may not come, at times, as simple visitors. We may
wish to play "guru" to these other people who don't see
things the way we do, and seek contrast, discord, standing
out rather than blending it, fashioning our actions for
shock-value rather that for displaying the opposite power
of peace and harmony.

While there's nothing that prevents us from doing this,
it's important, I think, that we take care in how and 
when we do so, since we're also assuming responsibility
to see that the course of action caused by our unsettling
effect is seen through to a positive, self-healing, 
beneficial conclusion.

In this case, you're reacting to a description of a
situation that you'd find repressive and adding a bit
of humor. There may be some on the mailing list, though,
that aren't trained in your sense of humor yet, and may
take it the wrong way.

My kids -- Galina, 10 1/2, and Geoffrey, almost 6 -- tend
to be on the noisy side when we go somewhere. Alone,
they're quieter; together, they quickly get into a
two-kid riot. This often means that I end up outside
with them, until their burn off their excess energy.

My thinking is that if a situation calls for quiet, like
around someone sick who is made to feel worse by too
much noise, it's up to the parents to resolve the situation
one way or the other, either taking the children where
they can noisily play or finding a way to engage them in
something they find interesting that involves quieter
activities.

-- Eldon


At 05:41 PM 10/14/00 -0400, you wrote:
>In a message dated 10/14/00 11:04:48 AM Central Daylight Time, 
>shampan@zip.com.au writes:
>
><< This was a place hardly anyone
> spoke, as she was ill. I had to stay quiet. Sit in a chair, and
> behave like a statue. It was the decent/appropriate way to
> behave. Casually she would smile, pat on my cheek, or kiss my
> palms. But there were few things which I did not quite experience
> anywhere else (till much later)..... lack of motion, absolute
> silence, a thick air of serenity/calmness not of strictness but
> love/affection/care, even if the number of people in the room was
> over 15. >>
>
>Great Horns of SATAN!!
>
>My parents would never have tolerated me being expected to be like that. 
>They would have given me the noisiest toy they could find and told me to have 
>fun with it and if the old farts didn't like it well that would be too bad 
>for them. And I'm 51.
>
>When I went to my Grandparents, I was part of the family, not some goddamned 
>knicknack or glorified animated Hummel figurine.
>
>Chuck the Heretic
>