Theos-Talk Archives (April 2000 Message tt00146)

In a message dated 4/22/00 7:17:03 PM Eastern Daylight Time, ASANAT writes:

<< In a message dated 4/2/00 9:36:58 PM Eastern Daylight Time, 
ramadoss@eden.com writes:
 
 << It would be of interest to many of us to know how you were introduced to
  Krishnamurti and any anecdotes. >>
 To M.K. Ramadoss:
 Thanks for your comments and interest.  Briefly, I first learned of K in 
1963, in the Spanish Branch of the Theosophical Society in New York, where I 
became a member.  When K came to speak in NY, I went to the talks at the New 
School for Social Research.  It was odd in a way, because when I found out, 
there were no more tickets.  Every ticket had been sold out, and even if 
there had been any, they cost more than I could afford at the time.  So it 
was "impossible" for me to attend.  Nevertheless, I didn't miss a single 
talk.  Every time he spoke, I would go (even though "I couldn't"), assuming I 
would be able to get in, and I would.  Something different happened each time 
(someone had a ticket, but "had to go home to some emergency," & would just 
give it to me, & things like that).  Every single time I ever saw K 
subsequently, it was always "impossible."  I went every year to the Oak Grove 
talks in Ojai, throughout the 70s.
 Meanwhile, I had been extremely active both in the work of the TS & in K 
groups (a number of which I organized, in different parts of the country).  
Then, in 1979, I was invited to participate in a week-long "conference" with 
K & about 12 others from different parts of the world.  David Bohm & Fritz 
Wilhelm were there (this led to a friendship with Bohm, & to other meetings 
in UC Berkeley, with top people in the fields of physics & the philosophy of 
science).  Philosophy is my career field.
 Something tremendous happened to me during that conference.  I had been, as 
I said, extremely active all those years, giving lectures, conducting 
discussions, reading voraciously, etc.  I would go into a K book not as 
reading, but as meditational exploration into myself & into what is.  
Sometimes I'd spend weeks just working on one sentence or one paragraph.  
That is, each day I would be working on the passage throughout the day (not 
just while I was reading).  What led to this is that I had been an 
investigator into these issues since I was a baby.  K was the first author I 
had encountered who had the kind of totally free spirit of investigation I 
had been trying to apply myself.  So I found in him "my best ally."
 At the conference, by the end of the third day it began to become obvious to 
me that everything I had read, discussed, or thought was 100 percent useless. 
 This man was actually communicating silently!  What he said could only be 
understood and received properly from the silence.  This imposed a tremendous 
discipline, because it meant going very deeply into every single thing that 
happened every day, as it happened.  This meant not just "behavior," but all 
the inner processes that go on in relationship (mine as well as those of 
"others").
 I ceased to have any interest at all in reading, discussing, or even hearing 
someone speak about anything having to do with K, or anything deeper.  It all 
immediately sounded so shallow!  If one is engaged, one is engaged.  If not, 
no amount of talking could possibly change that.  Talking "about it," in 
fact, would be an excellent way of not engaging in what mattered.  Then, in 
1985 (six years later), even though I had no contact with anybody who had 
anything to do with K, I sensed he was about to die.  I felt duty-bound to go 
& say good bye in Ojai, even though it was "impossible" for me to do so, both 
financially & in terms of obligations.  So I went.  All my friends at the KFA 
thought I was crazy:  "He's strong as an ox," "He himself said he'd live 
another ten years," & so on.  Nevertheless, I made what was, much by far, the 
most "impossible" of all journeys:  I went to India, for his last talks 
before he died.  Every one had the same opinion:  I was nuts.
 The e-mail got too long.  Sorry.  I hope that is what you asked for.  I can 
say more, if you wish.
 Blessings,
 Aryel >>

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