chap 1 of 7 - Inner Self
Jan 16, 2007 05:36 AM
by Mark Jaqua
Bless you Cass! Ha
1 of 7
AT HOME WITH THE INNER SELF
by J.B.
I learned how to lock onto my inner self
at all times. - JB
CONTENTS:
Introduction
I. The Success Mode
II. Society
III. "Mental Illness"
IV. Method
V. Childhood
VI. Psychology
VII. Philosophy and Mysticism
INTRODUCTION
"KNOW THYSELF"
Perhaps it is best said at the outset that
we consider ourselves to be at the earliest
beginnings of man's first true awakening. We
consider the problems of the world to be rooted
in the fact that each individual person has not
yet discovered the nature of his own consciousness.
The grand awakening, should it ever come,
would be one in which every individual person
is brought to realization and complete, clear
awareness of their own internal workings. We
consider that in some point in time this will be
required by school and statute. The general
maelstorm mankind finds itself in and has to do
something to get out of, is the result of all the
machinations of projection and transference in
which everybody is working their own internal
conflicts out on everybody else.
Freud and Jung were the godheads of a new
beginning. They pointed a course as to what
has to be done to get beyond the mass externalization
of stress that results in bloodshed and insane,
abusive wealth. Internal disharmony can be traced
to being at the root of our problems from starvation
to ghetto muggings, and until people are able to
be responsible to themselves for themselves, there
is not a faint ray of hope. Until something is done
about the source of the carnage, there is no hope
on earth. Working on your own mind-set and
improving your understanding of yourself and
others has been alluded to since Grecian times,
but it is no longer a pleasure for the idle rich, it is
a necessity for every person on earth.
Everyone goes through life picking up from
everybody around them pieces of mind-set that
are devoted to one's own destruction. That is
why you have to get down to the raw elements
of where the whole things started and trace it all
through. I've spent forty years doing this and
believe such a process is the only hope for
humanity and a new dawn coming over the earth.
In the destroyed condition I've been in and come
back from several times in my life, I've seen
what is possible and know that there is real hope.
There is a process going on we are only at the
beginning of.
People talk about meditation, talk about T.M.,
talk about tantra, talk about prayer, talk about
books on philosophy and psychology, talk about
discussion groups, talk about this and that and the
other thing - but no one makes a clear statement
of what they are trying to do. A person is bound
to get confused. If you've gotten to a point where
you realize that the thing you would like most to
find in this world is a steady source of guidance,
to help you become your own source of guidance
- then that's what you are after. You never find that
stated anywhere in simple language.
The key to the whole process lies in the fact
that there is a fountain-spring of endless guidance
and information within every human being. One
only has to learn to get out of its way, to let the
consciousness generate in a stilled and quiet mind.
Because of our western heritage, I'm tempted
to use the term that is common in the A.R.E. and
the churches - that the Christ-head reigns supreme
within. When you begin to have experiences of
the information from within, you learn how perfectly
attuned the inner mind is to your immediate and
momentary circumstances. It can guide you
exactly to the thinking required to deal with the
outer circumstances or other aspects of
consciousness that is absorbing your attention.
It is perfectly attuned to the potential of expanding
your total consciousness to its absolute maximum.
It is designed to do this. It is endlessly trying to
do this. It can't stop doing it. The fountainhead
lies totally within. All we discuss here pertains to
the methods and particulars that are involved in
uncovering the wellhead.
- J.B.
I. THE SUCCESS MODE
...I really can't talk to people who can only
think what they can get out of it. There are
people who think every second they are with
someone what it's going to get for them. When
I lived in the ------- area of -------, there were
people there with almost exclusively that mind
state. As far as I am concerned, they are a cancer.
The key to understanding the essence of the
circumstances of these driven type of people,
lies in the fact that they almost universally had bad
childhoods, in varying degrees. It is beyond my
capability to imagine a person with that unusual
amount of energy to have found that energy through
anything but through frustration. What they are
doing every day is going out the door to prove what
a "good kid" they are. They don't care a thing
who they kill in the process. They are still being
a "good kid."
If I go out the door in the morning to be
engaged with society, which is a specific feeling,
for me the greatest kick is just to be knocking
around with other people. It doesn't matter if
it is teaching or digging ditches. This is not true
of the success-oriented person. The success
-oriented person sees everything in the form of
hierarchies, and evaluates everything in terms of
his position on the pole, and what it's going to
get him.
Nothing succeeds like success except for
one thing that is wrong with it. It's addictive. Like
all addictions, it takes a little more every day to
get the same high. If the person is fortunate
and happens to be at the right place at the right
time often enough, and also able to do what is
required of him in his work without messing up
wholesale in his handling of people, then he
can make it and continue succeeding. In the
long view, though, how many corporate
presidents are there?
Obviously the success-oriented person
is necessary for our economy. As soon as
these people get into middle management
positions and climb about as high as they will,
their dreams begin to die. I've seen half a
dozen of my friends in their fifties go through
this process. Everyone of them became a total
loss. They start getting their hopes up about
being able to accept defeat, which they are
never able to completely do, and somehow
crawl across the line to sixty-five and retirement,
which becomes a vahalla of sorts, whereupon
they promptly die within six to eighteen months.
No matter who you are, if you don't die
young, the bullshit is going to be stop being
bought sooner or later. If you have to prove
yourself every day all over again, it gets
very tiring. Even if a person doesn't know
what's going on, it still gets tiring. You get all
sorts of variation of reaction. One guy will
go home and whimper to his wife all night,
which is a common reaction. Some go
whimper to the bartender. Some go whimper
to their buddy. I'm referring to people who
are in relatively high achievement positions.
What I'm trying to suggest is that I would
love to see just one case of a person who
isn't like this, because I don't think there are
any. I'm saying that they are poor Johnny
one-notes. Some are just the opposite.
They scream from the minute they come in
the door until the minute they leave. If you
are saddled with having to prove yourself
all the time, it's a hopeless task. I had a
couple of friends I thought weren't going to
have this problem. They got to forty-five or
fifty though, and every one of them fell apart.
There has to be some that don't fall into this
pattern, but I've never met them.
I gave up on altruism as an explanation
of people's actions. There are a few people
who's basic interest is knowing how to be
important to other people in positive ways.
They are not masochists or sadists, but a third
type. These people are interested in getting
the day's affairs in order and accomplished and
in developing a smooth flow of effort, and so
are the best kind of managers. Unfortunately
there aren't too many of them.
The majority of people are motivated by
their effectiveness at what they are doing. If
they loose this effectiveness, although it doesn't
happen too often, they just fall apart. All people
are effective at least to a degree at what they
do. The minute they don't have something to
give them a sense of accomplishment, they
have nothing to fall back on and their whole
world comes apart.
The average guy has a job because
the boss has to have somebody there to
do it. If the boss could do it himself, the guy
wouldn't be there. He doesn't see the boss
that often, but generally speaking, bosses
have a tendency to be a pain in the rear
because of some specific reasons. The boss
got to be boss because he was effective at
doing something real. Now he's got nothing
to do, so he has to stick his nose in
somewhere it doesn't belong so he can
have a feeling of effectiveness. This is the
biggest problem with managment. They
have a tendency not to have anything real
to do. It depends on the situation. Most are
up to their eyes in paperwork. The paperwork
isn't like being on the line and doing the work.
You don't get the same sense of effectiveness
out of it.
In psychological patterns, it is a matter of
having or not a sense of effectiveness. If there
is no one around to listen to the bosse's ideas,
then no matter where he is in management, in
his own eyes he considers himself a peon.
He's always looking to be upstairs, so he always
has the inferior feeling. Every time he gets a
rebuff of any kind, it comes back down the line.
That's the difference between good and bad
managers. The whole error in their thinking
lies in that they see their whole world as tied
up in their job situation. They have no world
view.
If I had had my mind and gone into
something, I would have, I think, come to
the place where I was doing as much as I
wanted to do. I've known a few people that
consistently turned down promotions because
they didn't want to be bothered with the pressure
of the higher level. The trouble with most
corporations is that they won't let you get away
with it. You turn down a promotion and they
end up firing you.
To me the idea was to run just as fast
as the situation pulled me. I wasn't interested
in being anything beyond what I wanted to be.
I knew that in myself I didn't want to be over-driven.
I knew too many people in way over their heads.
In the matter of continuing to maintain a
sense of function and capability, which is the
key to the whole thing, there are people who
want to feel personally close to those around
them and there are people who abhor it. The
ones that abhor it are the ones who have the
negative pattern of having never known what it
was like to be cooperative with anyone in their life.
When I was working and had any type of
job with people working for me, the thing that
was most important to me was the sense of
personal involvement. There are some people
you work with that don't want any part of it. They
can't tolerate the sense of closeness, any kind
of a sign of closeness. They want to come in,
do their work and leave, and they have nothing
to do with you personally. There are others
who are just crazy to have company.
We are always looking for an expansion
of the communal feeling. The fact that people
do this or that because there is a buck in it is
what kills it. It is cheap prostitution. The
power-chaser will never let you see his soft side.
On the other hand, a person who trys to be
all heart with people will never let you see how
they cheated someone. Generally, neither can
even see it themselves. That place in the
middle is what we're seeking. The more good
company you are, the more you get. The more
you give, the more you get.
"Positive thinking" or "correct mental attitude"
has nothing to do with success. If you examine
the people that propose these theories and
say they are responsible for their success,
you find the theory has nothing to do with it.
They were in the place it happened and there's
nothing more to it. It is outside our range of
control. Success comes to one person and
not another and there is no accounting for it.
There is no rich man who ever created a family
of rich men. There is no king that ever created
a king. There is no philosopher that ever
created a philosopher. It just doesn't work
that way. Our type of comprehension wants
us to believe that when we get smart enough
we'll achieve success. This is the tragedy of
the ego.
At puberty and after puberty for a certain
period of time exists the possibility of knowing
that what you want to know is about your own
internal nature. If you don't have any
reinforcement to know what you can find,
you don't find anything that means anything
to you. So you end up loosing the opportunity.
Once you loose the opportunity, the urge gets
misplaced or sublimated into the urge for
material things, status, and all the rest of it.
But you can never satisfy the need for a
square peg with a round one. You can
just never do it. You can chase it all your
life and never get any measure of what
you are looking for.
What is unhappiness? People are unhappy
and never question it. If what you have now
makes you unhappy, what would make you
happy? In each person's mind are a certain
number of routes to his own fulfillment. They
are different from person to person. What
are you really striving for? It is the desire for
a fulfillment which can't be found in the marketplace.
I am convinced that the people that succeed
in this world in the ordinary sense, have views
of the world that permit them to maintain fantasies
that will not suffer examination. Their head is
addicted to some view that permits their mind
to function in a response pattern where they
are beyond the capacity of doubting. This is
not really bad. There would be no life on
earth as we know it if it weren't so. We have
the belief that we have to answer to success
in order to answer to our own inner needs. It
is a fallacy of reasoning that is almost universal.
We're putting round pegs in square holes. It
is an inaccurate view of what our needs truly are.
I have had a very clear outer mind at times
in my life. This permitted me to understand
that when a mind is free of the inner stress, it
hungers for activity in the outer world. Not for
the purpose of success, but for the purpose
of utilization of energy, to maintain a sense
of internal tranquility. As soon as you're doing
something in terms of success, you're off
the track. The reason you do things is that
the pressure is there to do so. If you do
nothing, the build-up becomes unbearable.
The doing is the satisfaction, not the successfulness.
The real relief is finding a place to put the
energy that answers to itself in the doing of it.
The other day I was coming from downtown
--------- on the bus. There was a street person
who got on the bus. You don't see nearly
as many of these people in Pittsburgh as
you do in some of the bigger cities. This
person was probably in her fifties, massively
overweight, wearing about five coats, the
last of which just fit around her and was
buttoned at the top. She had on a knit hat
and was carrying four cloth shopping bags.
Because of my knowledge of these people,
she was carrying everything she owned.
She was completely out of her shoes, her
feet were sticking out all over. It was cold,
she had on about three pairs of stockings
and then a pair of socks. It's a great
question whether she had a regular place
to sleep.
Now this can be very upsetting. It is
upsetting to everyone on that bus, whether
they know it or not. We all identify with the
possibility of being in that condition, whether
we identify with it or we don't. It's automatic.
This is why we like to be near successful people.
The load is less. That's the only reason. The
mutual responsibility is less, period. But if
you get too far down the road, being around
successful people can be a very bad drain
because that side of your being feels inferior.
You find youself in the flip-flop of the thing.
I lived in the YMCA downtown and all
the rest of it. It's an existence that completely
eschews the success mode. For one reason,
it isn't available to these people. Anyone,
on the other hand, who answers to the success
mode in that their bills are regularly paid and
they can be looked upon as being about the
norm in society... So long as these conditions
are met, a person is incapable of escaping it.
It requires personal failure to generate insight,
the way we go about it.
It is my hope that when we come to
know how to answer to the inner being as
its capacity develops in children... If we come
upon that line and never loose it, we can
attain the ability for insight by a totally painless
route. The way it is now, it takes a crash
before the outer self can be forced to admit
that there even is an inner self.
-------------------------
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