Theos-Talk Archives (April 2005 Message tt00748)

Thank you Anand, 

I'll listen to it soon!

Love,

Niki


--- Anand Gholap <AnandGholap@AnandGholap.org> wrote:

> 
> 
> Welcome Niki. You seem to be versatile. I can
> understand your sorrow. 
> Theosophy if understood properly can make life very
> happy. I would 
> recommend you listen this audio.
>
http://www.anandgholap.net/Audio-To_Those_Who_Mourn-CWL.htm
> 
> Anand Gholap
> 
> --- In theos-talk@yahoogroups.com, "Anika Kinnara
> Durand" 
> <nikidurand@y...> wrote:
> > 
> > 
> > Hi Everybody-
> > 
> > Cass Silva introduced me to this group, and here I
> am! I wanted to 
> introduce myself to 
> > everyone. My life has taken some dramatic turns,
> but I'll do my 
> best to keep my intro 
> > from being novel length!
> > 
> > I'm a 43 year old woman, a double Gemini with a
> Scorpio moon, 6'0" 
> tall, hazel eyes, 
> > with long brunette hair. I'm a former gymnast,
> very athletic. I am 
> a musician (Guitar, 
> > bass, vocals, percussion), graphic artist and
> architectural & 
> interiors designer. I love 
> > to cook, chat with friends, love romance and
> children. I have a cat 
> named BG, who's 8 
> > years old, and very amazing. I adore nature, am an
> 
> environmentalist, and am in 
> > between careers. I'm thinking of opening a school
> for children, or 
> inventing a new 
> > way to create affordable housing...or both...or
> maybe something 
> else!
> > 
> > I live for love, and am best in a dynamic, lively
> relationship. For 
> the last 8 years, I was 
> > in the most incredible relationship in a lifetime
> of great ones. I 
> met Dionne on 28 
> > April 1997, and it was love at 1st sight for us
> both. I moved into 
> her Hollywood 
> > bungalow 2 months later. Within the 1st year we
> had traveled to 
> Europe (Greece: 
> > Athens, the isle of Santorini and Crete) for the
> 1st time, started 
> a fabulous rock band, 
> > advanced both our careers tremendously, and shared
> a deep, cosmic 
> love.
> > 
> > 3 years later we were set to be married, on the
> 9th of September 
> 2000. On 30 March 
> > that year, Dionne was wrapping up her 1st (lots of
> 1sts for us!) 
> architectural photo 
> > shoot and she was struck by a car while loading
> her truck. The 
> impact was sudden 
> > and violent, so much so that the Lupus she was in
> remission with 
> came back, along 
> > with Fibromyalgia and neurological damage. 
> > 
> > Our wedding was spectacular, at a Chumash sacred
> site, and our 
> honeymoon in 
> > Hawai'i was dreamy, perfect- just like our love!
> However, by 
> December that year she 
> > experienced muscle wasting, and lost all her long,
> lovely hair (I 
> shaved my head with 
> > her, so she wouldn't be alone). 2001 was a bad,
> bad, year. Her 
> health and body 
> > continued to waste away rapidly, and on Friday the
> 13th in July, I 
> had to admit her 
> > into Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. She was in for 3
> weeks, and when 
> she wrote a letter 
> > to have her doctor release her, was near death.
> She weighed 95 lbs. 
> when she went in 
> > and 82 lbs. when she was released.
> > 
> > I left my career to care for her, in mid-August,
> 2001. We were 
> awarded a very nice 
> > settlement the next year, and moved to Ojai,
> nestled in the 
> mountains outside of LA. 
> > Her health continued to improve, slow but steady.
> It was a hard 
> journey yet she 
> > always managed to smile amidst great pain. I often
> cried myself to 
> sleep, as I suffered 
> > along with her. She was an extraordinary human
> being and taught me 
> a lot about 
> > what life truly is...
> > 
> > This year we were convinced she was going to
> finally get back in 
> remission and things 
> > looked very good. Her weight was 112 lbs.- only 3
> under normal- her 
> hair was 
> > growing back, the lupus rash was subsiding and she
> was getting her 
> libido back 
> > (yay!).
> > 
> > On the 1st of February, I ran some errands, and
> talked to her on 
> the way home. When 
> > I came home I called out to her. When she didn't
> answer, I checked 
> in on her in the 
> > bedroom. I found her on the floor in the bathroom,
> lying down on 
> her back. I 
> > immediately went to her and found she had no
> pulse, nothing. I 
> called the 
> > paramedics, and an hour later they pronounced her
> deceased. The 
> next day, the 
> > coroner determined the cause to be an aneurysm to
> the right side of 
> her brilliant 
> > brain. She was 48...
> > 
> > Life has been very surreal since then. I now know
> how someone can 
> die of grief, 
> > alone, and was surprised some mornings that I was
> still alive. I'm 
> getting better a 
> > little every day, although rare is the day I don't
> cry at least 
> once...
> > 
> > We were/are soulmates. She appeared to me the
> night of her passing, 
> as a 
> > shimmering column of light that became a
> ballerina. She told me 
> that all I have to do 
> > is live my life the way we did and she would be
> the 1st person to 
> greet me on the 
> > other side. I've had many "teachings" from her
> since then, and last 
> week as I lay down 
> > for a nap I felt her at the side of the bed, and
> she stroked my 
> hair...
> > 
> > I told her I couldn't do this alone. One day a
> girlfriend, Babetta, 
> came over, and we 
> > talked and talked. When she had to go, a simple
> "goodbye" kiss 
> became a lot more 
> > than that! A month later, yesterday in fact, we
> are talking about 
> living together! And 
> > we share very profound feelings for each other
> that is fast 
> becoming a very profoud 
> > love. I am very, very blessed! And she's had
> contact with Dionne as 
> well! It's a celestial 
> > lovefest here!
> > 
> > Anyways, that's about it, I guess...
> > 
> > I hope this doesn't take too long to read!
> > 
> > Love and Chocolate, 
> > 
> 
=== message truncated ===

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around 
http://mail.yahoo.com