Theos-Talk Archives (January 2005 Message tt01103)

Dear Dee
Torture is not necessary, it only adds another fear, guilt. Acceptance of what is, is the beginning of understanding and the rejection of denial. After all, our fears were formed by our environment when we were unable to understand why. Because we were all love then we didnt understand and thought somehow that we were responsible, or that it was our fault. But as children it can never be our fault. Didnt figure out my main issue until I was well into my forties, when I said to myself, what is it about me, that causes the same actions to repeat themselves, (different faces, different people, but same lesson),there are lesser issues that I am still dealing with. Most parents of my generation did not understand Kahil Gabrin's saying "that our children come through us they are not of us". Therefore we have a right to question everything that has happened to us, as we are all making this journey individually.

Be kind to yourself
Cass

ps I have also discovered that from these main issues other issues are born. For example, control issues can lead to sexual issues, domination issues can lead to insecurity issues, if you get what I mean. 
dee1387 <dlriver@nc.rr.com> wrote:


I agree that a lot of our fears do have root in our childhood but 
the key words you mentioned are "total honesty". Denial is a very 
strong defense that is usually developed. It can blind us; that 
tunnel vision that prevents us from seeing/rediscovering the world 
around us from different perspectives. I have my share of fears, 
fears which I am not even aware of (due to denial). I torture 
myself every day questioning my every action/reaction, thought, 
emotion, and perspective. 


Dee


--- In theos-talk@yahoogroups.com, Cass Silva 
wrote:
> Dear Group,
> 
> "Probably you would say that it could never be complete; 
completeness would be the end of gradual, psychological evolution; 
something intolerable to dichotomizing intellection." 
> 
> Generally speaking, I am of the opinion that all psychological 
pain stems from childhood (I know its Freudian, but please bear with 
me)Our fears are grounded in our early lives. Each person may have 
a different "fear" or some may have "several fears"
> 
> As children most of us are conditioned by and experience, either 
one or several of the following: REJECTION, ABANDONMENT, ALIENATION, 
ISOLATION, DOMINANCE,etc etc by either one or both parents. This is 
the psychological pain (or fear) that we carry with us from 
childhood, and is reinforced in every mature relationship we have. 
> 
> The ego strengthens itself against this pain, by a defensive 
attack against the person/persons believed to be the reinforcer of 
the psychological pain. example, people who are rejected generally 
see everything as a rejection, those who disagree with their ideas, 
those who choose to spend time with others, etc etc.
> 
> Unless we unpack the psychological pain that is US, we will live 
our life in fear and in pain. Unless we understand and reconcile it, 
it will continue to strengthen the ego. I believe it is this that 
leads to physical pain (disease) and in some cases a death wish 
(self pity, I will never be accepted) The intellect must be used as 
the tool for understanding where and if we are responsible for the 
pain/fears that we inherited as children. Once we do this, which 
requires total honesty, and reconcile our rejection issues, 
rejection no longer has a hold over us, we stop seeing everything as 
a rejection, and we become free of it (the known) "dichotomizing 
intellection is no longer intolerable".
> 
> I would like to take it one step further and say that in reality, 
perhaps the life lesson of the soul was to learn about and conquer 
rejection (or abandonment, or control etc etc)and the only way this 
can be achieved is living through rejection,abandonment, control 
etc. The irony is, if this is the case, we must thank those who 
provided the opportunity for us to learn about ourself. Once the 
fear (of rejection, abandonment, control) is conquered there is no 
more pain attached to it. The conscious I, has then no further use 
for it when we live in awareness of it.
> 
> What are your ideas on this?
> 
> Cass
> 
> 
> ---------------------------------
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> 
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