Theos-Talk Archives (August 2004 Message tt00511)

HI Raghu,

I'm saying: take out the thorn in a way that hurts neither yourself,
nor another. I'm not saying that is easy. 

Norms that impose self-restraint on others where the lack of
expression of anger doesn't come from an inner sense that that would
be harmful, but from a sense 'I'm not supposed to do this', obviously
doesn't work. Emotions have to be faced. All kinds of tools may be
used to do that - keeping a diary comes to mind, but a miriad others
exist as well. The emotion gets expressed in a safe way, in such a way
that the rootcause gets found and faced. Still, if there is a
legitimate reason to be angry, I agree that a way of expressing that
has to be found. What I meant to say was merely that blowing up in
somebody's face, or even in slamming a door, has been found to be
unhealthy for the heart (literally). Their is a reason the Buddha was
never pictured angry. Is there any reference to Krishna being angry in
Hindu mythology? The ability to stay calm is healthy. But it does
indeed depend on an inner way of dealing with circumstances - as a
previous correspondent here put much better than I could. 

Katinka
--- In theos-talk@yahoogroups.com, "Raghu K" <raghu_k@a...> wrote:
> Hi Katinka
> 
> I have a point to make. How can the expression of anger be
unhealthy ? It
> is a way of putting forth your irritation and setting things right.
Lest, u
> keep the irritant live, ain't it ?
> 
> Say, a thorn has entered our flesh. Don't we, out of reflex, remove
it at
> the earliest ? Would u say that removing the thorn is unhealthy ?
> 
> Expression of anger or fear or any feeling is absolutely legitimate and
> healthy. But, the same has to be logical and within the democratic
norms of
> the society, not harming others.
> 
> For example, an assertive communication to the detractor saying that
what he
> speaks or does irritates me is a nice way of expression of my
irritation,
> within myself. Lest, the irritation snowballs into bad feelings and
low self
> esteem, which is what is unhealthy ?
> 
> Kind regards
> 
> Raghu Seshadri