Theos-Talk Archives (July 2004 Message tt00419)

Hi Anand,

A few points only. Those happy Japanese kids have the highest suicide
rate in the world, as far as I know. 

You may also find that a publisher has trouble with ascribing
differences to 'race'. This is the sort of thing that has theosophists
get the reputation of 'racists'. 

I'd ascribe the most important differences to culture. Television and
too much meat and sweets also accounting for much of the difference, I
think. (not that I'd be willing to put that totally unresearched
opinion in a book, or even on my website). 

Katinka
--- In theos-talk@yahoogroups.com, "Anand Gholap" <AnandGholap@A...>
wrote:
> Dear Friends,
> I want your opinion about following writing. Source and author of
the book I have intentionally kept secrete and it will be revealed in
future. Let me know your objective opinion of the writing and comments.
> Thanking you.
> Fraternally,
> Anand Gholap
> ------------------------------
> 
> It cannot be denied that from the theosophical standpoint the
subject of our relation to children is an exceedingly important and
practical one. Realizing, as we must, the purpose for which the ego [
relatively permanent self, not the personality ] descends into
incarnation, and knowing to how great an extent its attainment of that
purpose depends upon the training given to its various vehicles during
their childhood and growth, we cannot but feel, if we think at all,
that a tremendous responsibility attaches to all of us who are in any
way connected with children, whether as parents, elder relatives, or
teachers. It is well, therefore, that we should consider what hints
Theosophy can give us as to the way in which we can best discharge
this responsibility.
> 
> It may seem presumptuous that a bachelor should venture to offer
suggestions to parents upon a subject so especially their own; so I
ought, perhaps, to preface such remarks as I wish to make by saying
that, though I have none of my own, I have always been fond of
children, and in very close relation with them through almost the
whole of my life - for many years as a Sunday school teacher, then as
a clergyman, school-manager and choir trainer, and as headmaster of a
large boys' school. So that I am, at any rate, speaking from long,
practical experience, and not merely vaguely theorizing.
> 
> Before making suggestions, however, I should like to draw attention
to the present condition of our relation to children in the midst of
European civilization. Our children regard grown-up people (in the
mass) with scarcely veiled hostility, or, at the best, with a kind of
armed neutrality, and always with deep distrust, as foreigners whose
motives are incomprehensible to them, and whose actions are
perpetually interfering in the most unwarrantable and apparently
malicious manner with their right to enjoy themselves in their own
way. I should strongly advise every parent to read Kenneth Grahame's
The Golden Age; it puts the children's point of view better than any
other book which I know.
> 
> Many a man, or woman, thinks of children only as noisy, dirty,
greedy, clumsy, selfish and generally objectionable; and he never
realizes that there may be a good deal of selfishness in this point of
view of his, and that if any part of his indictment is true, the fault
has been not so much in the children themselves as in the unreasonable
way in which they have been brought up; furthermore, that in any case
his duty is not to widen the chasm between them and himself by
adopting an attitude of dislike and distrust, but rather to endeavour
to improve the position of affairs by judicious kindness and hearty,
patient friendliness and sympathy.
> 
> Surely there is something wrong about such unsatisfactory relations;
surely some improvement might be brought about in this unfortunate
condition of mutual hostility and mistrust. Of course, there are
honourable exceptions - there are children who trust their teachers
and teachers who trust their students, and I myself have never found
any difficulty in winning the confidence of the juveniles by treating
them properly; but in a sadly large number of instances the case is as
I have described it.
> 
> In Oriental Countries
> That it need not be so is shown not only by the exceptions mentioned
above, but by the condition of affairs which we find existing in some
oriental lands. I have not yet had the pleasure of visiting Japan, but
I hear from those who have been there and have made some study of this
question, that there is no country in the world where children are so
well and so sensibly treated - where their relations with their elders
are so completely satisfactory. Harshness, it is said, is entirely
unknown, yet the children in no way presume upon the gentleness of the
older people. In India and Ceylon also, on the whole, the relations of
children and adults are certainly more rational than they usually are
in England, though I have occasionally seen instances of undue
severity there which show that those countries have not yet attained
quite so high a level as Japan in this respect.
> 
> No doubt this is partly due to the difference of race. The oriental
child usually has not the irrepressible animal spirits and the intense
physical activity of his English representative, nor has he his
pronounced aversion to mental exertion. Strange and incomprehensible
as it would sound to the ears of a British schoolboy, the Indian child
is really eager to learn, and is always willing to do any amount of
work out of school-hours in order that he may make more rapid
progress. It is no injustice to the average English boy to say that he
regards play as the most important part of his life, and that he looks
upon lessons as distinctly a bore to be avoided as far as possible, or
perhaps as a kind of game which he has to play against the teacher. If
the latter can force him to learn anything, that counts as a score to
the side of authority: but if he can anyhow escape without learning a
lesson, then he in turn has scored a point. In the East, such a child
as this is the exception and not the rule; the majority of them are
really anxious to learn, and co-operate intelligently with their
teacher instead of offering him ceaseless though passive resistance.
> 
> Perhaps if I describe a little incident which I have more than once
witnessed in Ceylon, it will help my readers to understand how
different the position of children really is in an oriental race.
Readers of The Arabian Nights will remember how it constantly happens
that when some king or great man is sitting in judgement, a casual
passer-by - perhaps a porter or beggar - breaks in and offers his
opinion on the matter in hand, and is politely listened to, instead of
being summarily arrested or ejected for such a breach of the proprieties.
> 
> Impossible as this seems to us, it was undoubtedly absolutely true
to life, and on a smaller scale the same sort of thing occurs today,
as I myself have seen. It came in the course of my work to travel
about among the villages of Ceylon, trying to induce their residents
to appreciate the advantages of education, and to found schools in
which their children could be systematically taught their own religion
instead of being left either to the rather haphazard instruction of
the monks at the pansalas, or to the proselytizing efforts of the
Christian missionaries.
> 
> When I arrived at a village I called upon the headman, and asked him
to convoke the inhabitants to hear what I had to say; and after the
address the chief people of the place usually held a sort of council,
to decide where and how their school should be built and how they
could best set about the work. Such a council was generally held in
the verandah of the headman's house or under a great tree close by,
with the whole village in attendance around the debaters.
> 
> More than once on such occasions I have seen a small boy of ten or
twelve stand up respectfully before the great people of his little
world, and suggest, deferentially, that if the school were erected in
the place proposed it would make it exceedingly inconvenient for such
and such children to attend; and in every case the small boy was
treated precisely as an adult would have been, the local grandees
listening courteously and patiently, and allowing their due weight to
the juvenile's arguments. What would happen if in England an
agricultural labourer's child publicly offered a suggestion to the
county magnates gathered in solemn assembly, one hardly dares to
imagine; probably that child's suppression would be summary and
unpleasant; but as a matter of fact the situation is absolutely
unthinkable under our present conditions - more is the pity!
> 
> Better Understanding Needed
> But how, it may be asked, is it proposed that this position of
mutual mistrust and misunderstanding should be improved? Well, it is
evident that in cases where this breach already exists, it can be
bridged over only by unwearying kindness, and by gradual, patient but
constant efforts to promote a better understanding by steadily showing
unselfish affection and sympathy; in fact by habitually putting
ourselves in the child's place and trying to realize exactly how all
these matters appear to him. If we, who are adults, had not so
entirely forgotten our own childish days, we should make far greater
allowances for the children of today, and should understand and deal
with them much better.
> 
> This is, however, very emphatically one of the cases in which the
old proverb holds good, which tells us that prevention is better than
cure. If we will but take a little trouble to begin in the right way
with our children from the very first, we shall easily be able to
avoid the undesirable state of affairs which we have been describing.
And this is exactly where Theosophy has many a valuable hint to offer
to those who are in earnest in wishing to do their duty by the young
ones committed to their charge.
> 
> Of course, the absolute nature of this duty of parents and teachers
towards children must first be recognized. We cannot too strongly or
too repeatedly insist that parentage is an exceedingly heavy
responsibility of a religious nature, however lightly and
thoughtlessly it may often be undertaken. Those who bring a child into
the world make themselves directly responsible to the law of karma for
the opportunities of evolution which they ought to give to that ego,
and heavy indeed will be their penalty if by their carelessness or
selfishness they put hindrances in his path, or fail to render him all
the help and guidance which he has a right to expect from them. Yet
how often the modern parent entirely ignores this obvious
responsibility; how often a child is to him nothing but a cause of
fatuous vanity or an object of thoughtless neglect!
> 
> The Child and Reincarnation
> Now, if we want to understand our duty towards the child we must
first consider how he came to be what he is - that is to say, we must
trace him back in thought to his previous incarnation. Fifteen hundred
years ago or so your child was perhaps a Roman citizen, perhaps a
philosopher of Alexandria, perhaps an early Briton; but whatever may
have been his outward circumstances, he had a definite disposition of
his own - a character containing various more or less developed
qualities, some good and some bad.
> 
> In due course of time that life of his came to an end; but remember
that whether that end came slowly by disease or old age, or swiftly by
some accident or violence, its advent made no sudden change of any
sort in his character. A curious delusion seems to prevail in many
quarters that the mere fact of death will at once turn a demon into a
saint - that, whatever a man's life may have been, the moment he dies
he becomes practically an angel of goodness. No idea could possibly be
further from the truth, as those whose work lies in trying to help the
departed know full well. The casting off of a man's physical body no
more alters his disposition than does the casting off of his overcoat;
he is precisely the same man the day after his death as he was the day
before, with the same vices and the same virtues.
> 
> True, now that he is functioning only on the astral plane he has not
the same opportunities of displaying them; but though they may
manifest themselves in the astral life in quite a different manner,
they are none the less still there, and the conditions and duration of
that life are their result. On that plane he must stay until the
energy poured forth by his lower desires and emotions during physical
life has worn itself out - until the astral body which he has made for
himself disintegrates; for only then can he leave it for the higher
and more peaceful realm of the heaven-world. But though those
particular passions are for the time worn out and non-existent for
him, the germs of the qualities in him, which made it possible for
them to exist in his nature, are still there. They are latent and
ineffective, certainly, because desire of that type requires astral
matter for its manifestation; they are what Madame Blavatsky once
called 'privations of matter', but they are quite ready to come into
renewed activity, if stimulated, when the man again finds himself
under conditions where they can act.
> 
> An analogy may perhaps, if not pushed too far, be of use in helping
us to grasp this idea. If a small bell be made to ring continuously in
an airtight vessel, and the air be then gradually withdrawn, the sound
will grow fainter and fainter, until it becomes inaudible. The bell is
still ringing as vigorously as ever, yet its vibration is no longer
manifest to our ears, because the medium by means of which alone it
can produce any effect upon them is absent. Admit the air into the
vessel, and immediately you hear the sound of the bell once more just
as before.
> 
> Similarly, there are certain qualities in man's nature which need
astral matter for their manifestation, just as sound needs either air
or some denser matter for its vehicle; and when, in the process of his
withdrawal into himself after what we call death, he leaves the astral
plane for the mental, those qualities can no longer find expression,
and must therefore perforce remain latent. But when, centuries later,
on his downward course into reincarnation he re-enters the astral
plane, these qualities which have remained latent for so long manifest
themselves once more and become the tendencies of the next personality.
> 
> In the same way there are qualities of the mind which need for their
expression the matter of the lower mental levels; and when, after his
long rest in the heaven-world the consciousness of the man withdraws
into the true ego upon the higher mental levels, these qualities also
pass into latency.
> 
> But when the ego is about to reincarnate, it has to reverse this
process of withdrawal - to pass downward through the very same planes
through which it came on its upward journey. When the time of its
outflow comes, it puts itself down first on to the lower levels of its
own plane, and seeks to express itself there as far as is possible in
that less perfect and less plastic matter.
> 
> In order that it may so express itself and function upon that plane
it must clothe itself in the matter of the plane, just as an entity at
a spiritualistic séance, when it wishes to move physical objects,
materializes a temporary physical hand with which to do it, or, at any
rate, employs physical forces of some kind to produce its results. It
is not at all necessary that such a hand should be materialized
sufficiently to be visible to our dull, ordinary sight. But to produce
a physical result there must be materialization to a certain extent -
as far as etheric matter, at any rate.
> 
> Thus the ego aggregates around itself matter of the lower mental
levels - the matter which will afterwards become its mind-body. But
this matter is not selected at random; on the contrary, out of all the
varied and inexhaustible store around him he attracts to himself just
such a combination as is perfectly fitted to give expression to his
latent mental qualities. In precisely the same way, when he makes the
further descent on to the astral plane, the matter of that plane which
is by natural law attracted to him to serve as his vehicle in that
world, is exactly that which will give expression to the desires which
were his at the conclusion of his last birth. In point of fact, he
resumes his life on each plane just where he left it last time.
> 
> Observe that those are not as yet in any way qualities in action;
they are simply the germs of qualities, and for the moment their only
influence is to secure for themselves a possible field of
manifestation, by providing suitable matter for their expression in
the various vehicles of the child. Whether they develop once more in
this life into the same definite tendencies as in the last one, will
depend very largely upon the encouragement or otherwise given to them
by the surroundings of the child during its early years. Any one of
them, good or bad, may be very readily stimulated into activity by
encouragement, or on the other hand may be, as it were, starved out
for lack of that encouragement. If stimulated, it becomes a more
powerful factor in the man's life this time than it was in his
previous existence; if starved out, it remains all through the life
merely as an unfructified germ, and does not make its appearance in
the succeeding incarnation at all.
> 
> This then is the condition of the child when first he comes under
his parent's care. He cannot be said to have as yet a definite
mind-body or a definite astral body, but he has around and within him
the matter out of which these are to be built.
> 
> He possesses tendencies of all sorts, some of them good and some of
them evil, and it is in accordance with the development of these
tendencies that that building will be regulated. And this development
in turn depends almost entirely upon the influences brought to bear
upon him from outside during the first few years of his existence.
> 
> Shaping the Child's Future
> It is simply impossible to exaggerate the plasticity of these
unformed vehicles. We know that the physical body of a child, if only
its training be begun at a sufficiently early age, may be modified to
a very considerable extent. An acrobat, for example, will take a boy
of five or six years old, whose bones and muscles are not yet as
hardened and firmly set as ours are, and will gradually accustom his
limbs and body to take readily and with comfort all sorts of
positions, which would be absolutely impossible for most of us even
with any amount of training. Yet our own bodies at the same age
differed in no essential respect from that boy's, and if they had been
put through the same exercises they would have become as supple and
elastic as his, though now that they are definitely set no efforts
that we could make, however long continued, could give them the same
easy flexibility.
> 
> Now if the physical body of a child is thus plastic and readily
impressible, his astral and mental vehicles are far more so. They
thrill in response to every vibration which they encounter, and are
eagerly receptive with regard to all influences, whether good or evil,
which emanate from those around them. And they resemble the physical
body also in this other characteristic - that though in early youth
they are so susceptible and so easily moulded, they very soon set and
stiffen and acquire definite habits, which when once firmly
established can be altered only with great difficulty.
> 
> When we realize this, we see at once the extreme importance of the
surroundings in which a child passes his earliest years, and the heavy
responsibility which rests upon every parent to see that the
conditions of the child's development are as good as they can be made.
The little creature is as clay in our hands, to mould almost as we
will; moment by moment the germs of good or evil quality brought over
from the last birth are awakening into activity; moment by moment are
being built up those vehicles which will condition the whole of his
after-life; and it rests with us to awaken the germ of good, to starve
out the germ of evil. To a far larger extent than is ever realized by
even the fondest parents, the child's future is under their control.
> 
> Think of all the friends whom you know so well, and try to imagine
what splendid specimens of humanity they would be if all their good
qualities were enormously intensified, and all the less estimable
features absolutely weeded out of their characters.
> 
> That is the result which it is in your power to produce in your
child if you do your full duty by him; such a specimen of humanity you
may make him if you will but take the trouble.
> 
> Strengthen the Good
> But how? you will say; by precept? by education? Yes, truly, much
may be done in that way when the time comes; but another and far
greater power than that is in your hands - a power which you may begin
to wield from the very moment of the child's birth, and even before
that; and that is the power of the influence of your own life. To some
extent this is recognized, for most civilized people are careful of
their words and actions in the presence of a child, and it would be an
unusually depraved parent who would allow his children to hear him use
violent language, or to see him give way to a fit of passion; but what
a man does not realize is that if he wishes to avoid doing the most
serious harm to his little ones, he must learn to control not only his
words and deeds, but also his thoughts. It is true that you cannot
immediately see the pernicious effect of an evil thought or desire
upon the mind of your child, but none the less it is there, and it is
more real and more terrible, more insidious and more far-reaching,
than the harm which is obvious to the physical eye.
> 
> If a parent allows himself to cherish feelings of anger or jealousy,
of envy or avarice, of selfishness or pride, even though he may never
give them outward expression, the vibrations which he thereby causes
in his own desire-body are assuredly acting all the while upon the
plastic astral body of his child, tuning its vibrations to the same
key, awakening into activity any germs of these sins that may have
been brought over from his past life, and setting up in him also the
same set of evil habits, which when they have once become definitely
formed will be exceedingly difficult to correct. And this is exactly
what is being done in the case of most of the children whom we see
around us.
> 
> As it presents itself to a clairvoyant, the aura of a child is very
often a most beautiful object - pure and bright in its colour, free,
as yet, from the stains of sensuality and avarice and from the dull
cloud of ill will and selfishness which so frequently darkens all the
life of the adult. In it are to be seen lying latent all the germs and
tendencies of which we have spoken - some of them evil, some of them
good, and thus the possibilities of the child's future life lie plain
before the eye of the watcher.
> 
> But how sad it is to see the change which almost invariably comes
over that lovely child-aura as the years pass on - to note how
persistently the evil tendencies are fostered and strengthened by his
environment, and how entirely the good ones are neglected! and so
incarnation after incarnation is almost wasted, and a life which, with
just a little more care and self-restraint on the part of the parents
and teachers, might have borne rich fruit of spiritual development,
comes practically to nothing, and at its close leaves scarce any
harvest to be garnered into the ego of which it has been so very
one-sided an expression.
> 
> When one watches the criminal carelessness with which those who are
responsible for the bringing up of children allow them to be
perpetually surrounded by all kinds of evil and worldly thoughts, one
ceases to marvel at the extraordinary slowness of human evolution, and
the almost imperceptible progress which is all that the ego has to
show for life after life spent in the toil and struggle of this lower
world. Yet with so little more trouble so vast an improvement might be
introduced!
> 
> It needs no astral vision to see what a change would come over this
weary old world if the majority, or even any large proportion of the
next generation, were subjected to the process suggested above - if
all their evil qualities were steadily so allowed to atrophy for lack
of nourishment, while all the good in them assiduously cultivated and
developed to the fullest possible extent. One has only to think what
they in turn would do for their children to realize that in two or
three generations all the conditions of life would be different, and a
true golden age would have begun. For the world at large that age may
still be distant, but surely we who are members of the Theosophical
Society ought each to be doing our best to hasten its advent: and
though the influence of our example may not extend very far, it is at
least within our power to see that our own children have for their
development every advantage which we can give them.
> 
> The very greatest care, then, ought to be taken as to the
surroundings of children. People who will persist in thinking coarse
and unloving thoughts should at least learn that while they are doing
so they are unfit to come near the young, lest they infect them with a
contagion more virulent than fever. Much care is needed, for example,
in the selection of the nurses to whom children must sometimes be
committed; though it is surely obvious that the less they are left in
the hands of servants the better. Nurses often develop the strongest
affection for their charges, and treat them as though they were of
their own flesh and blood, yet this is not invariably the case, and,
however that may be, it should be remembered that the servants are
almost inevitably less educated and less refined than their
mistresses, and that, therefore, a child who is left too much to their
companionship is constantly subjected to the impact of thought which
is at least not unlikely to be of a less elevated order than even the
average level of that of his parents. So that the mother who wishes
her child to grow up into a refined and delicate-minded individual
should entrust him to the care of others as little as possible, and
should, above all things, take good heed of her own thoughts while
watching over him.
> 
> Her great and cardinal rule should be to allow herself to harbour no
thought and no desire which she would not wish to see reproduced in
her child. Nor is this merely negative conquest over herself
sufficient, for, happily, all that has been said about the influence
and power of thought is true of good thoughts just as much as of evil
ones, and so the parents' duty has a positive as well as a negative
side. Not only must they abstain most carefully from fostering, by
unworthy or selfish thoughts of their own, any evil tendency which may
exist in their child, but it is also their duty to cultivate in
themselves strong, unselfish affection, pure thoughts, high and noble
aspirations, in order that all these may react upon their charge,
quicken whatever of good is already latent in him, and create a
tendency towards any good quality which is as yet unrepresented in his
character.
> 
> How Thought Works
> Nor need they have any fear that such effort on their part will fail
of its effect, because they are unable to follow its action for lack
of astral vision. To the sight of a trained clairvoyant the whole
transaction is obvious; he would distinguish the vibrations set up in
the mind-body of the parent by the inception of the thought, would see
it radiating forth, and note the sympathetic vibration created by its
impingement upon the mind-body of the child: and if he renewed his
observations at intervals during some considerable period, he would
discern the gradual but permanent change produced in that mind-body by
the constant repetition of the same stimulus to progress. If the
parents themselves possessed the astral sight, it would, no doubt, be
of great assistance to them in showing exactly what were the
capabilities of their child, and in what directions he most needed
development; but if they have not yet that advantage, there need not,
therefore, be the slightest doubt or question about the result, for
that must follow sustained effort with mathematical certainty, whether
the process of its working be visible to them or not.
> 
> And not only should a parent watch his thoughts, but his moods also.
A child is quick to notice and to resent injustice; and if he finds
himself scolded at one time for an action which on another occasion
caused only amusement, what wonder that his sense of the invariability
of nature's laws is outraged! Again, when trouble and sorrow comes
upon the parent, as in this world it sometimes must, it is surely his
duty to try, as far as possible, to prevent his load of grief from
weighing upon his children as well as upon himself; at least when in
their presence he should make a special effort to be cheerful and
resigned, lest the dull, leaden hue of depression should extend itself
from his aura to theirs.
> 
> Yet again, many a well-meaning parent has an anxious and fussy
nature - is always fidgeting about trifles, and worrying his children
and himself about matters which are really quite unimportant. If he
could but observe clairvoyantly the utter unrest and disquiet which he
thus produces in his aura, and could further see how these vibrations
introduce quite unnecessary agitation and irritation into the
susceptible auras of his children, he would no longer be surprised at
their occasional outbursts of petulance or nervous excitability, and
would realize that in such a case he is often far more to blame than
they. What he should contemplate and set before him as his object, is
a restful, unruffled spirit - the peace which passeth all
understanding - the perfect calm which comes from the confidence that
all will at last be well.
> 
> It is further obvious that the training of the parents' character
which is necessitated by these considerations is in every respect a
splendid one, and that in thus helping on the evolution of their
children they also benefit themselves to an extent which is absolutely
incalculable, for the thoughts which at first have been summoned by
conscious effort for the sake of the child will soon become natural
and habitual, and will in time form the background of the parents'
entire life.
> 
> It must not be supposed that these precautions may be relaxed as the
child grows older, for though this extraordinary sensitiveness to the
influence of his surroundings commences as soon as the ego descends
upon the embryo, sometimes long before birth takes place, it continues
in most cases up to about the period of maturity. If such influences
as are above suggested have been brought to bear upon him during
infancy and childhood, the child of twelve or fourteen will be far
better equipped for the efforts which lie before him than his less
fortunate companions with whom no special trouble has been taken. But
it must be remembered that he is still far more impressionable than an
adult, and the same strong help and guidance upon the mental plane
must still be continued in order that the good habits both of thought
and of action may not yield before the newer temptations which are
likely to assail him.
> 
> Responsibility of the Teacher
> Although in his earlier years it was naturally chiefly to his
parents that he had to look for such assistance, all that has been
said of their duties applies equally to anyone who comes into contact
with children in any capacity, and most especially to those who
undertake the tremendous responsibilities of the teacher. The
influence of a teacher for good or for evil over his pupils is one
that cannot readily be measured, and (exactly as before) it depends
not only upon what he says or what he does, but even more upon what he
thinks. Many a teacher repeatedly reproves in his children the
exhibition of tendencies for the creation of which he is himself
directly responsible; if his thought is selfish or impure, then he
will find selfishness and impurity reflected all around him, nor does
the evil caused by such a thought end with those whom it immediately
affects.
> 
> The young minds upon which it is reflected take it up and magnify
and strengthen it, and thus it reacts upon others in turn and becomes
an unholy tradition handed down from one generation of children to
another. Happily a good tradition may be set up almost as easily as a
bad one - not quite as easily, because there are always undesirable
external influences to be taken into account; but still a teacher who
realizes his responsibilities and manages his school upon the
principles that have been suggested will very soon find that his
self-control and devotion have not been fruitless.
> 
> I am convinced that there is only one way in which either parent or
teacher can really obtain effective influence over a child and draw
out all the best that is in him - and that is by winning his love and
confidence. It is true that obedience may be extorted and discipline
preserved by inspiring fear, but rules enforced by such a method are
kept only so long as he who imposes them (or someone representing him)
is present, and are invariably broken when there is no fear of
detection; the child keeps them because he must, and not because he
wishes to do so.
> 
> But if on the other hand, his affection has been invoked, his will
at once ranges itself on the side of the rule; he wishes to keep it,
because he knows that in breaking it he would cause sorrow to one whom
he loves; and if only this feeling be strong enough, it will enable
him to rise superior to all temptation, and the rule will be binding
no matter who may be present or absent. Thus the object is attained
not only much more thoroughly, but also much more easily and
pleasantly both for teacher and pupil, and all the best side of the
child's nature is called into activity, instead of all the worst.
Instead of rousing the child's will into sullen and persistent
opposition, the teacher arrays it on his own side in the contest
against distractions or temptations; and thus results are achieved
which could never be approached on the other system.
> 
> It is of the utmost importance always to try to understand the
child, and to make him feel certain that he has one's friendliness and
sympathy. All appearance of harshness must be carefully avoided, and
the reason for all instructions given to him should always be fully
explained. It must indeed be made clear to him that sometimes sudden
emergencies arise in which the older person has no time to explain his
instructions, and he should understand that in such a case he should
obey even though he may not fully comprehend; but even then the
explanation should always be given afterwards.
> 
> Unwise parents or teachers often make the mistake of habitually
exacting obedience without understanding - a most unreasonable demand;
indeed they expect from the child at all times and under all
conditions an angelic patience and saintliness which they are very far
indeed from possessing themselves. They have not yet realized that
harshness towards a child is always not only wicked, but absolutely
unreasonable and foolish as well, since it can never be the most
effective way of obtaining from him what is desired.
> 
> It often happens that a child's faults are the direct result of the
unnatural way in which he is treated. Sensitive and nervous to a
degree, he constantly finds himself misunderstood, and scolded or
ill-treated for offences whose turpitude he does not in the least
comprehend; is it to be wondered at that when the whole atmosphere
about him reeks with the deceit and falsehood of his elders, his fears
should sometimes drive him into untruthfulness also? Certainly in such
a case the karma of the sin will fall most heavily upon those who, by
their criminal harshness, have placed a weak and undeveloped being in
a position where it was almost impossible for him to avoid it. If we
expect truth from our children, we must first of all practise it
ourselves; we must think truth as well as speak truth and act truth,
before we can hope to be strong enough to save them from the sea of
falsehood and deceit which surrounds us on every side. But if we treat
them as reasonable beings - if we explain fully and patiently what we
want from them, and show them that they have nothing to fear from us -
for 'perfect love casteth out fear' - then we shall find no difficulty
about truthfulness.
> 
> A curious but not at all uncommon delusion is that children can
never be good unless they are unhappy, that they must be thwarted at
every turn, and never by any chance allowed to have their own way in
anything, because when they are enjoying themselves they must
necessarily be in a condition of desperate wickedness! Absurd and
atrocious as this doctrine is, various modifications of it are still
widely prevalent, and it is responsible for a vast amount of cruelty
and unnecessary misery wantonly inflicted upon little creatures whose
only crime was that they were natural and happy. Undoubtedly nature
intended that childhood should be a happy time, and we ought to spare
no efforts to make it so, for in that respect as in all others, if we
thwart nature we do so at our peril.
> 
> Children are Egos
> It will help us much in our dealings with children if we remember
that they also are egos, that their small and feeble physical bodies
are after all but the accident of the moment, and that in reality we
are all about the same age. Our business in training them is to
develop only that in their lower nature which will co-operate with the
ego - which will make it a better channel for the ego to work through.
Long ago, in the golden age of the old Atlantean civilization, the
importance of the office of the teacher of the children was so fully
recognized that none was permitted to hold it except a trained
clairvoyant, who could see all the latent qualities and capabilities
of his charges, and could, therefore, work intelligently with each so
as to develop what was good in him, and to amend what was evil.
> 
> In the distant future it may be that that will be so once more; but
that time is as yet far away, and we have to do our best under less
favourable conditions. Yet unselfish affection is a wonderful
quickener of the intuition, and those who really love their children
will rarely be at a loss to comprehend their needs; and keen and
persistent observation will give them, though at the cost of much more
trouble, some approach to the clearer insight of their Atlantean
predecessors. At any rate, it is well worth the trying, for when once
we realize our true responsibility in relation to children, we shall
assuredly think no labour too great which enables us to discharge it
better.
> 
> Theosophy for Children
> A word should be said in conclusion upon the subject of religious
training. Many members of the Theosophical Society, while feeling that
their children need something to take the place filled in ordinary
education by religious training, have yet found it almost impossible
so to put Theosophy before them as to make it in any way intelligible
to them. Some have even permitted their children to go through the
ordinary routine of Bible lessons, saying that they did not know what
else to do, and that though much of the teaching was obviously untrue
it could be corrected afterwards. This, however, is a course which is
entirely indefensible; no child should ever waste its time in learning
what it will have to unlearn afterwards. If the true inner meaning of
Christianity could be taught to our children, that indeed were well,
because of course that would be pure Theosophy.
> 
> Nor is there any real difficulty in putting the grand truths of
Theosophy intelligibly before the minds of our children. Certainly it
is useless, at first, to trouble them with rounds and races, with
lunar pitris and manasaputras; but then, however interesting and
valuable all this information may be, it is of little importance in
the practical regulation of conduct, whereas the great ethical truths
upon which the whole system rests can, happily be made clear even to
the childish understanding. What could be simpler in essence than the
three great truths which are given to Sensa in The Idyll of the White
Lotus?
> 
> "The soul of man is immortal, and its future is the future of a
thing whose growth and splendour have no limit. 
> 
> The principle which gives life dwells in us and without us, is
undying and eternally beneficent, is not heard, nor seen, nor smelt,
but is perceived by the man who desires perception.
> 
> Each man is his own absolute law-giver, the dispenser of glory or
gloom to himself - the decreer of his life, his reward, his punishment.
> 
> These truths, which are as great as is life itself, are as simple
as the simplest mind of man. Feed the hungry with them."
> 
> We might express these more tersely by saying: 'Man is immortal; god
is good; as we sow, so shall we reap.' But surely none of our children
can fail to grasp these simple ideas in their broad outline, though as
they grow older they may spend many a year in learning more and more
of the immensity of their full meaning. Teach them the grand old
formula that 'death is the gate of life' - not a terrible fate to be
feared, but simply a stage of progress to be welcomed with interest.
Teach them to live, not for themselves, but for others - to go through
the world as friends and helpers, earnest in loving reverence and care
for all living things. Teach them to delight in seeing and in causing
happiness in others, in animals and birds as well as in human beings;
teach them that to cause pain to any living thing is always a wicked
action, and can never have aught of interest or amusement for any
right-thinking or civilized man. A child's sympathies are so easily
roused, and his delight in doing something is so great that he
responds at once to the idea that he should try to help, and should
never harm, all the creatures around him. He should be taught to be
observant, that he may see where help is needed, whether by man or by
animal, and promptly to supply the want so far as lies in his power.
> 
> A child likes to be loved, and he likes to protect, and both these
feelings may be utilized in training him to be a friend of all
creatures. He will readily learn to admire flowers as they grow, and
not wish to pluck them heedlessly, casting them aside a few minutes
later to wither on the roadside; those which he plucks he will pick
carefully, avoiding injury to the plant; he will preserve and tend
them, and his way through wood and field will never be traceable by
fading blossoms and uprooted plants.
> 
> Physical Training and Purity
> Do not forget also that the physical training of the child is a
matter of the greatest importance, and that a strong, pure, healthy
body is necessary for the full expression of the developing soul
within. Teach him from the first the exceeding importance of physical
purity, so that he may regard his daily bath just as much an integral
part of his life as his daily food. See to it that his body is never
befouled with such filthy abominations of modern savagery as meat,
alcohol or tobacco; see to it that he has always plenty of sunlight,
of fresh air and of exercise. So shall he grow up pure, healthy and
happy; so shall you provide for the soul entrusted to your care a
casket of which it need not be ashamed, a vehicle through which it
shall receive only the highest and best that the physical world can
give - which it can use as a fitting instrument for the noblest and
the holiest work.
> 
> As the parent teaches the child, he will also be obliged to set the
example in this as in other things, and so the child will thus again
civilize his elders as well as improve himself. Birds and butterflies,
cats and dogs, all will be his friends, and he will delight in their
beauty instead of longing to chase or destroy them. Children thus
trained will grow up into men and women recognizing their place in
evolution and their work in the world, and each will serve as a fresh
centre of humanizing force, gradually changing the direction of human
influence on all lower things.
> 
> If thus we train our children, if we are thus careful in our
relations with them, we shall bear nobly our great responsibility, and
in so doing we shall help on the grand work of evolution; we shall be
doing our duty, not only to our children, but to the human race - not
only to their egos, but to those of the many millions yet to come.
> 
> 
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