Theos-Talk Archives (March 2003 Message tt00444)

News in PHYSICS - New Element discovered

A major research institution recently announced the discovery
of the heaviest element yet known to science. This new element
tentatively has been named "Corporatium". Corporatium has 1
neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 111
assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by a force called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like
particles called peons. Since Corporatium has no electrons, it
is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every
reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Corporatium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to
complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Corporatium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not
decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and
assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Corporatium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads
some scientists to speculate that Corporatium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass."

You will know it when you see it...