Theos-Talk Archives (July 1999 Message tt00066)

I got this riddle in an e-mail from <http://www.riddleaday.com>. When I read 
the riddle, I thought of my friends on the Theosophy list (and a few of my 
other strange friends). Hope you enjoy it. If you want the answer, read all 
of the funny answering machine messages, then you'll find the answer after 
them. Warning, the answer has nothing to do with theosophy or religion.



***** Forwarded Message *****

CLASSIC Riddle:

Sir, I bear a rhyme excelling
In mystic force and magic spelling
Celestial sprites elucidate
All my own striving can't relate

===


HUMOR SECTION 


The humor items in this publication are items people have sent
Riddleaday.com by email.  Items featured in this section did 
not arrive with a copyright notice or credit attached.

Answering machines

 From the editor of Riddleaday.com:

My grandparents were managing an apartment complex and I gave them 
an answering machine so they could get messages while they were 
out.  They came to visit me and Grandpa asked me some questions 
about the answering machine.  I decided to leave a message on 
their machine to check it out and see if they had set it up 
correctly.  Following is a condensed version of the greeting I 
heard:

Grandma:  Aren’t you supposed to be able to hear the message?
Grandpa:  No, I don’t think so.  I know I recorded a message, Let 
          me see... 
Grandma:  I am pretty sure you are supposed to be able to hear the 
          message.
Grandpa:  I know that, but I don’t know why it won’t play back.
Grandma:  Maybe it isn’t working.  Maybe if you would ...
Grandpa:  Oh, for CRYING OUT LOUD.  I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING !
Grandma:  Well, I just thought ...
Grandpa:  WOULD YOU JUST BE QUIET?  YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 
          MECHANICAL ...
Machine:  beep

---

More answering machine messages:

Hello.  You are talking to a machine.  I am capable of receiving 
messages.  My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, 
and their carpets are clean.  They give to charity through the 
office and don't need their picture taken.  If you're still with 
me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

Sorry, we aren't here right now.  Please leave your name and 
number after the tone.  If you are calling regarding an 
outstanding debt, please leave your message BEFORE the tone.

Well I finally got an answering machine.  Now how does this thing 
work?  Hmmm.  Press record button, I did that, and the light 
should be on.  I wonder why it's not working right. Hmmmm, I 
wonder what this button does...

You know what I hate about answering machine messages?  They go on 
and on, wasting your time.  I mean, all they really need to say 
is, "We aren't in, leave a message."  That's why I've decided to 
keep mine simple and short.  I pledge to you, my caller, that 
will never have to suffer through another long answering machine 
message when you call me...


My time is billed at $125 per hour.  Please begin your message 
with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of 
expiration.  I'll get back to you pending credit approval.

(Computer style monotone:)  Hello, I am the XS486 Mark Five 
answering machine.  I am equipped with the latest Pentium 
processor to assure that nothing can go wrong...  Gowrong...  
Grong.. Grong gronggronggrong BEEP

===

BE CAREFUL!!! THE ANSWERS TO TODAY'S RIDDLES ARE BELOW THIS
SECTION.  DON'T READ AHEAD UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE THE ANSWER !


CLASSIC Riddle Answer:

Pi (digits are given by length of each word)  3.141592 ... etc.

Hope you enjoyed the little riddle, 

P.S. If you want to help me keep the puzzles free at <www.MAZES.com>, there 
are two things you can do to help me:
	1. Please sign my 
<A HREF="http://www.planetall.com/main.asp?cid=6100887&s=193";>address 
book</A>. You will put me one step
	    closer to earning a free book, and it won't cost you a penny.
	    http://www.planetall.com/main.asp?cid=6100887&s=193
	2. Click here to <A 
HREF="http://www.speedyclick.com/ad.cgi?0ct993224rch";>play some free games
</A> and earn free points
	    you can use to spend in auctions. They help pay the
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John

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