Theos-Talk Archives (January 1999 Message tt00069)

Thanks Eldon and MKR for responding.

I'm looking for life. Not merely material but spiritual. Everything seems
confusion. But I guess I created this myself be looking into everything
spiritual/magickal I could find. And then one thought conflicts with another
and my mind tenses up in unbearable leavels. I find no fun in material
things. No hopes, no dreams, no goals. Ten years ago I rejected a computer
programming job which paid £800 in favour of spiritual pursuits. Now I'm 29
I feel as though my life is over and the spiritual life, thoughts and action
is getting slower and harder with every turn I take.

I'm scared of falling again. I would like help on how to prevent it. How can
I mix spiritual with material existence when one seems to block out the
other? When I get interested in one thing it takes over my life. I consume
it. Then the fire is gone.

If I offended anyone by my previous post, then I'm sorry. It's not often I
let my emotion's get in my way.

This is about life. I enjoy the studies, but I need some real practical
advice for a beginning student.

Thanks, Alan