Theos-Talk Archives (January 1999 Message tt00063)

Jerry, thanks for asking about what way Crowley and the O.T.O. present
hurdles. Out of all the members on this list you are the main one who gets
critisized, yet the only one to offer help about this subject. Talk about
heart or eye doctrine!

I'm not swayed by Crowley on any point of personal power or magickal
abilities - but rather the life, the spiritual qualities he writes about
(especially in Temple of Solomon the King). His theorys and views on
spiritual and material, and the methods of union seem to be different from
Theosophy. And I get pulled this way and that way with my thoughts on which
one to learn from.

I like(d) theosophy a lot. I thought I had found the teaching which
resonated inside. It 'sempt relaxed (I mean the living) without the
struggle - a bit like Christianity. But suddenly my view gets distracted
back to Thelema.

I find it hard to really pinpoint the problem. But there seems to be
something missing from the people of Theosophy. It might just be those on
the list (apart from a few exceptions) who show a dryness and lack sparkle.
Some have great knowledge and giant intellects, but I cannot see the real
life. I ask for help, not once but several times, and non is forthcoming. I
wasn't asking the group to chew my cud, in the words of Leon. I was asking
because I thought the people cared and wanted to help in the practicle
aspect's, not merely doctrine. For example, I wished everyone a happy
christmas, but not one kind remark was return.

Theosophy seems to encompass a lot of christian morals. As Crowley said, The
word of sin is restriction. And I don't want to be bound up again as it gets
to painful when you fall.

I had considered joining the O.T.O or A.A. before I came across theosophy.
Then I scrapped the O.T.O. and read HPB. And over the past few months I have
heard on this list our ritual magick is part of the left hand path and that
Crowley was so-called evil. This brought back the division and the pain of
which one (if any) show'd and practiced what I needed.

I hope you can read between the lines and entangle what I've read and what I
am trying to say. Some times I just want to hold the magickal sword, shout
and die: because always swapping, changing and falling is the hardest part,
the sharpest pain.

Al