Theos-Talk Archives (January 1999 Message tt00008)

In response to posting an excerpt on CWL's clairvoyance, some questions
were raised. I am posting the five part msg from which I excerpted the
passage.

mkr

=========
Hi Rob,  I'd like to follow your example and post a K text. I got it
from David Walker who gathered together a small e-mail group of people
interested in k. He mailed it to us in five discrete segments.  I'll do
the same.  I don't know enough about computers to do it otherwise.
Regards, Hermann

David Walker wrote:
>
> Dear Friends,
>
> This is the first piece by Dr. Ruben Feldman-Gonzalez recalling
> his dialogues with Krishnamurti.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>                         P R O L O G U E
>
> During my encounters with people many asked me to write of my
> dialogues with Krishnamurti, even knowing I would be retrieving
> them only from my memory since only a few had been recorded.
> So it was that I started to think of writing some of my memories
> down.
>
> Nevertheless, some other friends felt that it was unnecessary to
> write my memories since Krishnamurti had done such a beautiful work
> of exposition of life and truth for mankind with his own books,
> videos and audiotapes.
>
> I hope that anyone who reads "My Dialogues with Krishnamurti" feels
> the need to read Krishnamurti himself.
>
> I have almost stopped reading, and if I do it is only to read
> "Krishnamurti Journals" or "Commentaries On Living" by Krishnamurti
> and "Collected Works of Krishnamurti" (17 volumes Kendall-Hunt)
> (1933-1967).
>
>                    Looking For The North
>
> Political contradiction in Argentina was always high.
>
> It came to one of its highest points, though, by the end of August
> 1972.
>
> During this time a group of leftist, guerrilla men and women were
> killed while in jail at Trelew-Argentina, and I was horrified to
> hear that one of them had been a friend of the family.
>
> I started to get phone calls prompting me to take sides in the
> armed struggle: "If you are not for the left you are for the
> right", a man's voice had told me on the phone before he hung-up
> while I was taking care of a recently born baby in Villada,
> Argentina, Aug. 23rd 1972.
>
> The following day I went to Buenos Aires to get a visa to the
> U.S.A. (1972).
>
> If man looses respect for life we are all at risk from each other.
> Man becomes his own executioner.
>
> Only after two years I got a temporary visa to enter the U.S.A.
> Every Argentinian was suspicious then.
>
> I stopped over in Puerto Rico. There was a man there I wanted to
> meet: Enrique Biascoechea.
>
> I did meet him. He was dying. He had been a friend of Krishnamurti
> since age nine.
>
> He wrote a letter to Krishnamurti telling him that I had left
> behind my parents, two baby sons, possessions, friends, profession,
> comfort, and status in order to travel to meet with him.
>
> That was in June 1974. Enrique died in Nov 1974.
>
> After reaching the U.S. I soon found myself working 16 hours a day
> as a resident physician in Pennsylvania. I needed a dictionary to
> dictate my notes. Of the other eight hours of the day I spent four
> in the basement to study medicine in  English to revalidate my
> license. I slept three or four hours a day and ate only once a day,
> taking coffee in the morning and again at lunchtime simply to keep
> myself awake.
>
> Sometimes I wondered how my body could bear so much abuse!
>
> I got letters from Argentina: "Misery. My family and my friends
> kept disappearing".
>
> I had given up hope to meet Krishnamurti when I got a letter from
> Mrs. Zimbalist, dated Jan. 5th 1975 in Ojai, California telling me
> I had a personal interview with Krishnamurti on march 23rd at 4
> P.M. at the Huntington Hotel in San Francisco, California.
>
> Mrs. Zimbalist volunteered her time for Krishnamurti as a devoted
> secretary. She is the widow of the late Sam Zimbalist who had
> produced the reknowned film "Ben Hur".
>
> At four P.M. on March 23rd 1975 sharp I knocked at Krishnamurti's
> door. Mrs. Zimbalist did everything to make me feel comfortable.
>
> Krishnmurti came after five minutes. I stood up from the armchair
> to shake his hand. He looked smaller than I expected him to be. He
> wore an old blue jacket. He sat in front of me with nothing in
> between the two chairs. Mrs. Zimbalist left silently.
>
> We sat there looking at each other. I will never be able to
> describe that moment when Krishnmurti was gazing at me.
>
> I felt at the same time all the love I had felt for my parents, my
> sons, my girlfriends, my friends (dead or alive)...
>
> There was long silence.
>
> Krishnamurti said: Biascoechea says you are ready to work for the
> Foundation.
>
> I said:       I may not be wise or free enough for that.
>
> Krishnamurti: You will.
>
> Ruben:        What would the work imply?
>
> Krishnamurti: Publishing books, videos and tapes.
>
> Ruben:        That implies managing money.
>
> Krishnamurti: Millions of dollars.
>
> Ruben:        That horrifies me. I'm not ready for that. I thought
>               I would have to travel with you, type your lectures
>               from recorded tapes.... things like that.
>
> Krishnamurti: (Laughing) You can do more than that Dr...
>
> Ruben:        My name is Ruben Ernesto Feldman-Gonzalez.
>
> Krishnamurti: That's confusing, may I call you Dr. Gonzalez?
>
> Ruben:        Of course, but my real name is Anger.
>
> Krishnamurti: (touching my left knee) Ah! I'm glad you don't wear
>               a mask like so many that come to me pretending to be
>               saints.
>
> Ruben:        I'm far from that. I feel a complete repugnance for
>               the so-called political situation of Argentina, my
>               country of birth, and even for the way my profession
>               is practiced. I'm a pediatric surgeon. I had started
>               to study psychiatry (July 1974) in Pennsylvania to
>               see why the world has gone so crazy. Nevertheless I'm
>               not impressed, the approach to treatment in
>               psychiatry is conventional... standardized. I'll
>               leave psychiatry too. I don't know what I will do.
>
> Krishnamurti: Don't leave psychiatry. Change it.
>
> Ruben:        I never thought you would give me concrete advice
>               like that. It sounds absurd though. Changing
>               psychiatry sounds like changing the color of the
>               crickets of the world.
>
> Krishnamurti: You have to change psychiatry.
>
> Ruben:        I wish I knew what you meant.
>
> Krishnamurti: You have to meet Dr. David Bohm in London. Let's go
>               there soon.
>
> Ruben:        I wish I could, perhaps if I get a loan.
>
> Krishnamurti: No! Don't ask for a loan. You'll meet him soon
>               anyway.
>
> Ruben:        I need to make changes. I have no peace. Friends have
>               disappeared in Argentina. Everything seems so chaotic
>               and corrupt....
>
> Krishnamurti: (smiling) You need exercise (Krishnamurti touched my
>               belly with the tip of his left index finger).
>
> Ruben:        I work 16 hours a day and then I have to sit to study
>               for four hours a day before I go to sleep. All this
>               to renew my medical license in the USA.
>
> Krishnamurti: That's an excuse. Take care of yourself. You need
>               exercise. You look like a bull.
>
> Ruben:        Sometimes I feel that I need to share my
>               understanding with people around the world. What do
>               you say to that?
>
> Krishnamurti: You speak.
>
> A very long silence followed. I had expected him to tell me to
> "stay put" and spend the rest of my life in silent meditation. With
> very few words he was the perfect mirror for my own contradictions
> to emerge and be clearly seen.
>
> He insisted:  The Foundation in Puerto Rico has no head. I hope
>               you will take it (he grabbed my left knee).
>
> Ruben:        Krishnaji, when I was with Biascoechea everything
>               seemed so easy. Now I see I don't have the peace of
>               mind, the right skills nor the freedom (the sons and
>               two parents to feed) to dedicate myself sensibly to
>               such an important and difficult task. It is certainly
>               no picnic.
>
> Krishnamurti: I hope you take it.
>
> Another long silence followed.
>
> Krishnamurti discussed several items regarding the Foundation's
> translations, people like Salvado Sendra, Vimala Thakar, personal
> and ideological struggles within the Foundations, etc.
>
> Ruben:        I'm eager to meet Salvador and Vimala... but people
>               from the Fourth Path are trying to mix what you say
>               with what others have said and are quite willing to
>               control the Foundations.
>
> Krishnamurti: That has been going on all the time and not only with
>               them. The Fourth Path is a path of violence which
>               reinforces the ego and the wish to control life and
>               its course. Do not touch it. The first insight is to
>               drop everything non-essential for the total
>               liberation of mankind.
>
> Ruben:        Now that you mention the non-essential.... Why did
>               you allow the biography of yours written by Lutyens
>               to be published? It's gossipy and superficial, and it
>               may not be right selling "At the Feet of the Master"
>               ... with your name on it.
>
> Krishnamurti: Not my books.
>
> Ruben:        And they are making a profit.
>
> Krishnamurti: It's not my business.
>
> Ruben:        How would you recommend your books to be read, and
>               in what order?
>
> Krishnamurti: Do not read them like a novel. Read slowly as if your
>               life was in every word and every sentence. Start with
>               the last one and then if there is an interest go
>               backwards through the first one.
>
> Ruben:        Should we read all your books?
>
> Krishnamurti: If you take a train in San Francisco to go to Los
>               Angeles... would you get off in Santa Barabara?
>
> We both laughed. One had to laugh very often in the company of
> Krishnamurti. Today the order of the books would be:
>
> "Ending of Time"
> "The Awakening of Intelligence"
> "Commentaries on Living"
> "Journal"
> "Freedom from the Known", etc.
> "Collected Works" (1933-67)
>
> I asked:       Why don't you eat meat?
>
> He answered:   Pity.
>
> I expected a longer lecture but that was all he said. Again a long
> silence. The silence was alive, the silence of two alert friends
> seeing together the same thing at the same time.
>
> He stood up and said. "Excuse me Dr. Gonzalez, I'll prepare some
> tea for you".
>
> At the kitchen in the big suite he whispered something with Mrs.
> Zimbalist who was sitting there.
>
> He came back with a cup of tea. He said: "Tea of roses for you".
>
> I sipped it, but I didn't like it. I left it on the little table
> beside us.
>
> Ruben:        Can we talk about meditation?
>
> Krishnamurti: Is there anything else?
>
> Ruben:        Well, the very word meditation is used by gurus of
>               all kinds to make money, sell silly books,
>               techniques, pillows, crystals, mantras, and incense.
>
> Krishnamurti: I have been using the word for 50 years. I can't
>               change it now. People will have to see I use the word
>               with a different meaning. I do not use the word
>               meditation with its traditional meaning!
>
> Ruben:        What about using the expression "Unitary Perception"
>               instead.
>
> Krishnamurti: You use it.
>
> (Krishnamurti said he would not use the word meditation anymore
> during his last talk in England in 1985, ten years later.)
>
> Krishnamurti: Why not live very simply?
>               Call it meditation or Unitary Perception.
>               Self protection and self aggrandizement through money
>               making and success have to end in order to live
>               simply. To live simply is to live intelligently,
>               without an observer in observation. If you believe
>               you have to go back to Argentina to be loyal to some
>               concept of yours you are not simple. If you are angry
>               you are not simple. If you are full of sorrow you
>               can't love anyone. Can you be spontaneous and simply
>               act with not too much planning?
>
> Ruben:        You are not saying I have to remain alone and live in
>               poverty and silence.
>
> Krishnamurti: Would that be simple?
>               Would you be escaping from life?
>               The consummation of truth is not to be successful or
>               wealthy... but do you want complete truth?
>               Look for success or money and you'll find
>               frustration. Look for truth and you'll receive total
>               peace of mind and joy. Will you be one of the few? Or
>               will you continue being one of the many worshippers
>               of money and success?
>
> After a long silence, he said: "Dr. Gonzalez, your tea must be cold
> already, finish it!"
>
> I didn't have the courage to say no and I did finish it silently.
>
> He said: "Let's meet tomorrow at eight A.M.
>
> Krishnamurti went with me to the door, opened it for me and smiled
> lovingly saying: "Good bye".
>
> I said:       What noun should be applied to what you teach--
>               "message", "gospel",..., or what?
>
> Krishnamurti said: Call it "the teachings". Let's meet tomorrow
>               at eight A.M., right here.
>
> I spend the rest of the afternoon by myself in my room, which I had
> rented at the same hotel where Krishnamurti was staying.
>
> I felt like a Condor for the rest of the day.
>
> I met Krishnamurti by chance in the lobby that evening. I walked
> with him for awhile.
>
> I saw a couple of very beautiful girls.
>
> I said: "God, how beautiful they are".
>
> He said: "Only well fed".
>
> I said: "Krishnaji, I felt like a Condor the whole afternoon, full
> of peace and joy and love. I think it's because I spent some time
> with you."
>
> Krishnamurti said: "For how long do you want to be infected?"


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