Theos-Talk Archives (July 2007 Message tt00301)

Dear Nigel

Although I'm in this role right now, I'm not a defender of CWL. I've 
read a few books by him (in fact, I've read some of them after 
hearing someone telling something he had read in certain book by 
Leadbeater, and that answered certain little experience I had, 
without knowing anything on that subject).
But I'm providing alternative views (that I really think them 
possible) because there is a big propaganda against him and one-sided 
statements that I experienced as being at least tendentious.
I'm very aware of the difficulty of this kind of questions, and 
because of that there are historical controversies all over the world 
about the most varied personalities, HPB included.
For example: Why if CWL was born before her mother got married and 
then, being part of an orthodox religion, she declared her children 
birth just nine month after her marriage, probably in accordance with 
some authority there who accepted to cover the case?
What I mean is that we don't have the means to know those things, and 
I don't want to be like those (to me, ignorant) people denying HPB's 
claims just because they don't believe them to be possible.
And sincerely, I don't want to spend much time in those things. I had 
a rather bad idea about Leadbeater, then I saw some evidence as to 
his attitude in daily matters, I've read the statements of people, 
who I regard as serious, defending him, and I don't see it worthy of 
much more time spent in that.
I personally have seen how the books of CWL have helped some people 
to enter in the spiritual life, what I read from them (irrespective 
of the accuracy of the information given there) advises people to be 
unselfish, etc., therefore I don't see any problem in publishing his 
books. Of course, if you consider him a black magician or a 
regrettable person, you will not agree. It's Ok.
It seems my mind functions in a different way of many of those who 
write here. I'm aware of the limitations we have when dealing with 
all this. For example, even for the 12-Globe teachings of Purucker 
(which I believe to be wrong) I have a hypothesis as to how it could 
fit in HPB's teachings. And I leave the door open.
It doesn't mean that I live in an absolute relativism and that I'm a 
sort of ambiguous person. I have my own ideas and concepts about the 
theosophical teachings, I lecture, write articles, work in the TS 
based on those conceptions, but I don't think I have the last word, I 
leave the door open for other conceptions. I know things may be 
different from what I perceive, and I have a "suspended judgment" 
(I've not idea if that is the English translation of the Platonic 
concept of not drawing hard conclusions of things we don't know) on 
many things.
My experience living in Adyar for one and a half year was wonderful. 
That was the best period of my life regarding my "inner life". My 
daily meditation, my study, the state of my mind, were in a point 
never reached before. And it is not self-suggestion. I've a PhD in 
Bio-Sciences and I've quite a scientific approach to many things (in 
the sense of non-emotional or romantic). For four months my friends 
asked me if I felt different in Adyar, and things like that, and I 
answered the truth: "I feel the same, and I don't thing a place will 
make a noticeable change in anybody". But then, after those four 
months, there was a noticeable change, for good. And of course, I've 
met there some people who had their own problems, as well as some 
wonderful people who helped me a lot, and treated me as their own 
son, although I was from another country, I didn't know the language 
(I've learned my poor English there), etc. And that was also my 
experience in Spain (where I was three month) and now here in US. 
Wherever I went (including Brasil, Chile, etc.) I felt a warm feeling 
of brotherhood and appreciation. To me, the TS is something Sacred, 
not in the sense that I won't let anybody to attack it, but in the 
sense that I feel a sense of sacredness in its work, in its aims, in 
the imperfect efforts of its members, etc.
So... what can I say? That is my experience. It's a pity it wasn't 
yours...
Best regards
p