Theos-Talk Archives (April 2005 Message tt00850)

Dear Iain-

I truly appreciate your efforts to help me, and I wish
I could give a good report and all is well...but I
cannot.

And saying, "Everyone has to grieve for those that are
close and loved." does me no good. Why do people
always say that? That makes me feel small and trivial,
I know you didn't intend that- just don't ever say
that to another person on grief, ok? 

I haven't stopped loving, in fact that's what has me
down again- keeping my heart open! It keeps getting
stomped on! And, I don't know how much more I can
take. When Dionne died I really lost my reasons for
bwing here...and yet I didn't wake up dead...

And now, Babetta came into my life, brought love back
to my weary heart, said she wanted to live with
me...and now sez she is palnning to live with another
person...how many times can my heart be broken?

I'm just sharing here, please don't feel any need to
fix things. I thought I was resilient, but I'm
learning otherwise. I've had a life, sort of, and am
ready to move beyond the veil...I'm not suicidal, just
too tired to really care. I love, I breathe...I
appreciate nature and I want to do so much...but
without love I'm as good as dead...

Good Luck to You, Peace and Love...

And I hope you NEVER have to go thru what I'm going
thru...

Niki


--- Iain <ibse03888@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:

> 
> Dear Niki, you are stronger than you think.Everyone
> has to grieve for those 
> that are close and loved. You do not stop loving and
> you must not stop. 
> Strangely I have completed the lyrics for
> Rachmananov's variation on a 
> theme from Pagannini, ( featured in the film STORY
> OF THREE LOVES)for a semi 
> prefessional opera singer. He was asking for this
> for his new tour I.m sure 
> you will recognise the tune it is melancolic,
> pensive.
> 
> RHAPSODY on a theme of Paganini.
> 
> The Summer's gone
> Winter draws near,
> The Autumn clouds
> Have all disappeared
> As warmth turns into cold
> I stand here alone,
> Thinking of the things
> that I should of known,
> Remebering days
> peculiar ways
> These things have flown!
> 
> I'm sorry now
> but it's too late
> I've seen my world
> just disintegrate.
> That we learn
> from our mistakes
> for just a little love
> is all that it takes
> But,no,not I,
> I could not wait,
> Oh! so creul fate!
> 
> I should of known what to say
> I should have known the price
> I had to pay.
> (ad lib)
> Now and forever...
> price I had to pay
> broken lives, broken dreams
> broken loves,
> and all because of me
> and all because of........
> 
> The summers gone
> Winter is here
> and my time
> draws near.
> 
> (c) 2005 Buik Music.
> I hope this helps you, it is a song of reflection,
> the ad lib part is like 
> your mind it goes all over the place, you blame
> yourself and other nonsense, 
> then, your mind clicks in concentrates, takes a deep
> breath the
> puts things into proper perspective then builds on
> the strenth to get out 
> again and start living
> I hope in my small way this is of help too you
> Your light tho faded will burn brightly again.
> cheers,
> Iain
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Niki Durand" <nikidurand@yahoo.com>
> To: <theos-talk@yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Sunday, April 17, 2005 12:27 AM
> Subject: Re: Theos-World Re: Gestation time...
> 
> 
> >
> > Hi Iain-
> >
> > I'm trying very hard, but have had my stomach
> kicked
> > in by Dionne's sudden death. I'm really very weak,
> and
> > I thought I was strong- HA!
> >
> > I know nothing anymore, say that love and
> > relationships are ALL that matter to me and
> everything
> > else is a bloody distraction....
> >
> > And that I'm fading, fast..
> >
> > Love,
> >
> > Niki
> >
> >
> > --- Iain <ibse03888@blueyonder.co.uk> wrote:
> >>
> >> dear Niki,
> >> Welcome to the group, you will find some very
> >> serious people on this site,
> >> and there are ones who revel in the absurdities
> that
> >> life throws at us. I
> >> hopefully belong to the later catagory,The saying
> >> that many a truth is said
> >> in jest, and if you have read some of my postings
> >> there is a great deal of
> >> "mickey taking" or lampooning as you say in the
> US..
> >> Laughter is the best
> >> medicine, unfortunatly for others I've doubled
> the
> >> dosage!! Let your
> >> chuckle-muscle be active, Keep you chocolate
> levels
> >> high,
> >> cheers from Sunny Scotland.
> >> Iain
> >> ----- Original Message ----- 
> >> From: "Anika Kinnara Durand"
> <nikidurand@yahoo.com>
> >> To: <theos-talk@yahoogroups.com>
> >> Sent: Saturday, April 16, 2005 9:05 PM
> >> Subject: Theos-World Re: Gestation time...
> >>
> >>
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > Hi Anand-
> >> >
> >> > It seems to be you and me! How fun is that?! I
> >> have a very kind heart, and
> >> > I'm also
> >> > fierce like Sekhmet!
> >> >
> >> > If I get what I need here, and can contribute
> for
> >> the benefit of all,
> >> > believe me, I'll stay
> >> > here...
> >> >
> >> > Love and Hot Chocolate,
> >> >
> >> > Niki
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > --- In theos-talk@yahoogroups.com, "Anand
> Gholap"
> >> <AnandGholap@A...>
> >> > wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >> Niki,
> >> >> > Just curious, what's the "gestation time"
> here
> >> in the group, where a
> >> >> new member is
> >> >> > assimilated and people actually start
> >> responding to replies? I've
> >> >> made several, after
> >> >> > my intro (one reply so far, btw), and no
> >> responses...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Is there a time period? Do I just keep
> posting
> >> and receiving no
> >> >> replies and pray to the
> >> >> > posting Goddess? Be demure and bat my
> >> eyelashes, waiting patiently?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Just curious...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Niki Durand
> >> >>
> >> >> I am afraid it won't be too easy and always
> happy
> >> to be here. Slowly
> >> >> you will learn what it is and how it goes on.
> But
> >> it will take time. If
> >> >> you are a very nice at heart, then you might
> >> either keep quiet or leave
> >> >> the group as many do. But I would be happy if
> you
> >> remain.
> >> >> Anand Gholap
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >
> 
=== message truncated ===




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