Alice Bailey wrote:
"It was a Sunday morning. The previous Sunday
I had heard a sermon which had aroused all my
aspiration. This Sunday, for some reason, I had
not gone to Church. All the rest of the house-party
had gone and there was no one in the house but
myself and the servants. I was sitting in the drawing
room reading. The door opened and in walked a tall
man dressed in European clothes (very well cut,
I remember) but with a turban on his head. He came
in and sat down beside me. I was so petrified at
the sight of the turban that I could not make a
sound or ask what he was doing there. Then he
started to talk. He told me there was some work
that it was planned that I could do in the world
but that it would entail my changing my
disposition [36] very considerably; I would have to give up being
such an unpleasant little girl and must try and get some measure of
self-control. My future usefulness to Him and to the world was
dependent upon how I handled myself and the changes I could manage
to make. He said that if I could achieve real self-control I could
then be trusted and that I would travel all over the world and visit
many countries, "doing your Master's work all the time." Those words
have rung in my ears ever since. He emphasized that it all depended
upon me and what I could do and should do immediately. He added that
He would be in touch with me at intervals of several years apart.
The interview was very brief. I said nothing but simply listened
whilst He talked quite emphatically. Having said what He had come to
say, He got up and walked out, after pausing at the door for a
minute to give me a look which to this day I remember very
distinctly. I did not know what to make of it all. When I had
recovered from the shock, I was first frightened and thought I was
going insane or had been to sleep and dreaming and then I reacted to
a feeling of smug satisfaction. I felt that I was like Joan of Arc
(at that time my heroine) and that, like her, I was seeing spiritual
visions and was consequently set aside for a great work. What it was
I could not imagine, but pictured myself as the dramatic and admired
teacher of thousands. This is a very common mistake on the part of
beginners and I see a lot of it today in connection with various
occult groups. People's sincerity and aspiration do succeed in
bringing them some inner, spiritual contact and they then interpret
it in terms of personality success and importance. A reaction of
over-stimulation. This reaction was succeeded by one in which the
criticism He had made of me became uppermost in my mind. I decided
that maybe after all I was not in the class of Joan of Arc but
simply some one [37] who could be nicer than I had been and who
could begin to control a rather violent temper. This I started to
do. I tried not to be so cross and to control my tongue and for some
time became so objectionably good that my family got disturbed; they
wondered if I was ill and almost begged me to resume my explosive
displays. I was smug and sweet and sentimental.
As the years went by I found that at seven years intervals (until I
was thirty-five) I had indications of the supervision and interest
of this individual. Then in 1915 I discovered who He was and that
other people knew Him. From then on the relationship has become
closer and closer until today I can, at will, contact Him. This
willingness to be contacted on the part of a Master is only possible
when a disciple is also willing never to avail himself of the
opportunity except in moments of real emergency in world service.
I found that this visitor was the Master K.H., the Master Kut Humi,
a Master Who is very close to the Christ, Who is on the teaching
line and Who is an outstanding exponent of the love-wisdom of which
the Christ is the full expression. The real value of this experience
is not to be found in the fact that I, a young girl called Alice La
Trobe-Bateman, had an interview with a Master but in the fact that
knowing nothing whatsoever of Their existence, I met one of Them and
that He talked with me. The value is to be found also in the fact
that everything that He told me came true (after I had tried hard to
meet requirements) and because I discovered that He was not the
Master Jesus, as I had naturally supposed, but a Master of Whom I
could not possibly have heard and one Who was totally unknown to me.
Anyway, the Master K.H. is my Master, beloved and real. I have
worked for Him ever since I was fifteen years old and I am now One
of the [38] senior disciples in His group, or - as it is called
esoterically - in His Ashram.
I make these statements with a definite purpose in mind. So much
nonsense has been talked along these lines and so many claims made
by those who have not the experience and the mental and spiritual
orientation required, that true disciples are ashamed to mention
their work and position. I want to make it easier for such disciples
in the future, and to "debunk" the nonsense put out by many esoteric
(so-called) schools of thought. The claim of discipleship is ever
permissible; it gives nothing away and only carries weight if backed
by a life of service. The claim that one is an initiate of a certain
status is never permissible, except among those of the same rating
and then it is not necessary. The world is full of disciples. Let
them acknowledge it. Let them stand together in the bonds of
discipleship and make it easier for others to do the same. Thus will
the existence of the Masters be proved and proved in the right way -
through the lives and testimonies of those They train."
Quoted from:
http://laluni.helloyou.ws/netnews/bk/autobiography/auto1014.html
and
http://laluni.helloyou.ws/netnews/bk/autobiography/auto1015.html
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