Theos-Talk Archives (January 2005 Message tt00538)

Henry Miller (author of Tropic of Cancer) had written an essay in 1944 
entitled Murder the Murderer.

In that essay, Miller tells the following story:

"There is an old story about a man who had committed 52 murders. It bears 
repeating...
As the story goes, it was after the 52 crime that the murderer became 
conscience-stricken and decided to seek out a holy man in order to mend his 
ways. He lived with the holy man a few years, doing everything that he was 
prescribed to do, and striving with all his heart to get the better of his 
vicious nature. Then one day the holy man told him that he was free to 
resume his life in the world, that he need have no more fear of committing 
murder again. At first the man was overjoyed, but elation soon gave way to 
fear and doubt. How could he be certain he would sin no more? He begged the 
holy man for some sign, some tangible proof that he was really liberated. 
And so the holy man gave him a black cloth, telling him that when the cloth 
turned white he could be absolutely certain of his innocence. The man 
departed and resumed his life in the world. A dozen times a day he looked 
at the black cloth to see if it had turned white. He could think of nothing 
else-he was obsessed. Little by little he began to inquire of others what 
he could do to bring the miracle about. Each one suggested something else. 
He followed every suggestion, but to no avail. The cloth remained black. 
Finally he made a long pilgramage to the Ganges, having been told that the 
holy waters of that sacred iver would surely make the black cloth white. 
But as with all his efforts, this one too proved unsuccessful. Finally, in 
despair, he decided to return to the holy man and live out the rest of his 
days in his presence. At least, he thought, by living with the holy man, he 
would be able to avoid temptation. So he set out on the long journey. As he 
was nearing his destination he came upon a man attacking a woman. The 
screams which the woman gave out were heart-rending. He caught hold of the 
man and implored him to desist. But the man paid no heed to him. On the 
contrary he redoubled his blows. There was no doubt that he intended to 
kill the woman. Something had to be done, and quickly, if the woman was not 
to be murdered before his very eyes. In a flash the ancient murderer 
reviewed his situation. Fifty-two murders he had committed. One more could 
make no great difference. Since he would have to atone for the others he 
could just as well make it 53. Even if he were to stay in hell forever he 
could not stand by and see this woman murdered. And so he set upon the man 
and killed him. When he came to the holy man he told him what had happened, 
whereupon the holy man smiled and said: "have yoiu looked at the black 
cloth I gave you?" He had forgotten all about the black cloth since the 
fifty-third murder. Trembling he took it out and gazed upon it. It had 
turned white...."