Theos-Talk Archives (March 2004 Message tt00057)

A really funny(?) piece by Steve Martin!

Steve Martin
Studio Script Notes on "The Passion"

  Dear Mel:
 
We love, LOVE the script! The ending works great. You'll be getting a call
from us to start negotiations for the book rights.
 
Love the Jesus character. So likable. He can't seem to catch a break! We
identify with him because of it. One thing, I think we need to clearly state
"the rules." Why doesn't he use his super powers to save himself? The
creative people suggest that you could simply cut away to two spectators:
Spectator one 'Why doesn't he use his super powers to save himself?'
Spectator two 'He can only use his powers to help others, never himself.'
 
Does it matter which garden? Gethsemane is hard to say and Eden is a much
more recognizable garden. Just thinking out loud.
 
Our creative people suggest a clock visual fading in and out in certain
scenes like the last supper bit: Monday, 12:43pm." or later, "Good Friday,
5:14pm."
 
Love the repetition of "is it I?" Could be very funny. On the eighth
inquiry, could Jesus just give a little look into camera? Breaks frame, but
could be a riot. Also could he change water into wine in last supper scene?
Would be a great moment, and it's legit. History compression is a movie
tradition and could really brighten up the scene.
 
Love the flaying !!!!!
 
Could the Rabbis be Hispanic? There's lots of hot Latino actors now, could
give us a little zing at the box office. Research says there's some
justification for it. Is there somewhere where Jesus could be using an IMac?
You know, now that I hear myself say it, it sounds ridiculous. Strike that.
But think about it. Maybe we start a shot in heaven with Jesus thoughtfully
closing the top? (Reminder: heaven is timeless).
 
The studio is very high on Johnny Depp right now. Just saw him in "Pirates."
He was hilarious. Might be right for Jesus? Not so straightforward. He could
bring a lot of pizzazz to the role. I think a meeting would be warranted.
Love the idea of Monica Belluci as Mary Magdalene (Yow!). Our creative
people suggest a name change to Heather. Could skew our audience a little
younger. Love Judas. Such a great villain. Our creative people suggest that
he's a little "conflicted." Couldn't he be one thing? Just bad? Gives the
movie much more of a motor. Also, 30 pieces of silver is not going to get
anyone excited. I think it's very simple to make him a "new millionaire."
Bring in the cash on a tray. Great dilemma that the audience can identify
with.
 
Minor spelling error: on page 18, in the description of the bystanders,
there should be a space between the words "Jew" and "boy."
 
Merchandising issue: it seems the cross image has been done to death and we
can't own it. Could the crucifixion scene involve something else? A Toyota
would be wrong, but maybe there's a shape we can copyright, like an ellipse?
 
I'm assuming "the dialogue is in Aremeic," is a typo for "American." If not
call me on my cell or I'm at home all weekend. By the way, I'm sending a
group of staffers on a cruise to the North Pole, coincidentally around the
time of the release date. Would love to invite your dad!