Theos-Talk Archives (February 2004 Message tt00033)

Feb 7 2004





Dear Friends and Cee Kay:







In regard to this subject: "Truth and children" Can we look back at
our earliest impressions when we were infants?



Next:





How would a student of Theosophy take the doctrines of 



1. the pilgrimage of the immortal MONAD, 



2. reincarnation, 



3. Universal Justice and 



4. a common goal for all living creatures (Perfection) into
account in answering this?





How many of us, in our earliest memories of this incarnation, can say
that our experience was analogous to this: 





"When as a small child I was honest and forthright, then I was punished
for saying the truth." "I was told that I ought to learn to 'stay in my
place; to be silent when elders were speaking,' " etc.



Adults sometimes resented my views - that I apparently could see through
them, and into their motives, and also, the fact I was (at first) not
afraid to say so.



Then the pain of inexplicable and unnecessary punishments caused me to
become cautious. Then, when I was silent, I was again punished for
that, in an endeavour to force a statement (that conformed with their
prejudices) from me. 



Out of self-defence I began to lie, and to hide my doings. And "I knew I
was lying and being sly and devious."



What would THEOSOPHY have to say of such experiences? 





Don't we have to look on the duality of our own consciousness? 



The curious fact that THEOSOPHY speaks of: of an immortal EGO which has
to live within a mortal ego? Also that there is a constant dialog
between the brain-mind (as personal ego) and the divine EGO - as through
the listening to the "voice of conscience?" 



One factor is for each of us: our own Higher EGO, (ATMA-BUDDHI-MANAS).
We know it is there and can see all things very clearly, even now when
we are adults.



It is now forced by the process of reincarnation, and its past Karma, to
live a new conscious life, not only in a newly re-assembled lower Ego
and a fresh personal environment, but that very environment, in those
very early years of our present life, was sometimes antagonistic to
strict honesty and resentful of our speaking and knowing the truth? 



The hypocrisy of the world tends to stamp out child-expressions of
honesty even when true -- (especially in the young, the weak and
defenseless) by repression, and by inflicting verbal or physical pain.



Some child-bodies had the moral stamina to bear the unjust and unfeeling
punishment, and the enforcement of a kind of tyranny through superior
strength alone, not justice. The child knows the difference. We know
the difference now. 



Then some children, under the threat of continued pain, and when
'broken' by pain, develop fear. In despair and ignorance it cries to
itself: "Is there no escape? Where can I go? Why am I now so
defenseless?" Finding no escape, perhaps it decides to mitigate its
condition, and decides to employ the tactics of silence, forbearance,
avoidance of protest, diversion of interest by the questioner (if
possible), etc. all these bring on the development of Lower Manas, and
possibly induce a lasting increase in slyness, and prevarication. It
knows this and perhaps later in life it struggles to reverse this. 



And can we not see in our present civilization an enhancement of these
two antagonistic qualities? Thus from early childhood the infant is
made fit to live in and meet the inequities and hypocrisies of our
present general life ways.



Let us then review what HPB has to say on truth.



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I hope his may help,



Best wishes,





Dallas



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-----Original Message-----
From: Cee Kay
Sent: Friday, February 06, 2004 8:36 PM
To: 
Subject: Truth and children





uh-oh... 





today i got the following in a parents pages newsletter, written by a
couple of doctors... the subject is why kids lie:





Children approaching 3 1/2 see people, objects, and events as all good
or all bad. Good people do good things; bad people do bad things. This
explains a lot about the lies kids tell now. 





------------------------{CK}-----Okay, did that distress anyone else?!
First of all, what in the world is going on here?! Children are
learning that things are either all good or all bad? From where does
this come? School? Teachers? 



I am striving to teach my daughter that nothing is good or bad, and
people are not good or bad; it's the choices they make in action, and
the result of those choices we make affect all of our lives. I try to
communicate to her that the best choice is the one that helps the most. 



I think that somehow the preceding article demonstrates the undoing of
my efforts to teach her a more self-reliant and selfless way of being. 





The article continues:



GOOD NEWS The good news about lying-yes, you should see it this way-is
that it's a sign of intellectual growth and sophistication. It also
shows the way a child wishes things to be. So your preschooler isn't a
liar when she denies absolutely that she put the red handprints on the
wall, though she's completely covered with red paint. Her thinking goes
like this: "I am a good girl. Mommy thinks that red handprints on the
wall are bad. Bad people do bad things. So no, I didn't leave those bad
handprints, because I'm good." The most common reason for lying is fear
of punishment.





STRATEGIES Parents can understand this kind of behavior as "creative
coping" with a situation that the child suddenly perceives as stressful.
Untruths shouldn't be supported, but it does no good to press a child to
admit to a lie. 



Think of yourself as a teacher, not the police. Ask yourself if you're
really giving your child permission to tell the truth. You don't have to
like her behavior; you do want to help her correct it. 

Look for patterns in these untruths. They may help you discover what's
really going on in your child's life. A child who lies to a wide range
of people may have problems with her self-esteem; a child who lies
mostly to one or two people is probably afraid of them and is trying to
protect herself. 





-------------------------{CK}-------Could anyone offer a more
Theosophical analysis of this? I realize she is only three, but i
cannot help but think that there must be a better way to explain how it
comes to be that a child would say no when the answer is obviously yes
and vice versa. It shouldn't be about fear, or punishment or
self-esteem problems...!





CeeKaye

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