Theos-Talk Archives (October 2001 Message tt00152)

Yep. I have found that at times it is better not to
be nice and, in fact, be very rude. The classic
example is when someone offers you something at first
it may seem apprpriate to refuse the offer. However,
when refusing we are actually offending the person
who made the iinitial offer. Another example I can
think of was when I was away on a field trip two weeks
ago. We were working in groups on a prooject. I had
temporarily left the room in order to make a vegemite
sandwich. While gone the class "clown" came and
started making jokes and generally fooling around.
While we all appreciate this guy at that particular we
had a lot of work to do and didn't need distractions.
On returning to the room with my sandwich I realised
what had occurred and simply said to the gentleman
concerned that he was wanted by his own group. He
promptly left us to do our work. While at first my
group thought I was telling the truth they soon
realised I had only said it so he would leave us. It's
like when your a kid and you tell your mate their
mother is calling for them. Anyway, my point is that I
had to be rude to please others, ie the members of my
group. Incidentally, the class clown wasn't offended
by my actions and actually found it quite amusing. So
in the end it was a win-win situation.






--- Eldon B Tucker <eldon@theosophy.com> wrote:
> At 08:30 PM 10/8/01 -0700, you wrote:
> 
> >Theosophy teaches that we must be truly altruistic
> and
> >unselfish so that we may prevent bad karma for
> >ourselves. But is this not, in itself, being
> selfish?
> 
> Mic:
> 
> When we want to change our behavior, there are
> various
> things we can use to motivate ourselves. There can
> be
> fear of bad things happening to us, like the idea of
> karma as punisher of wrong-doers. There can be
> desire
> for personal gain, like the idea of karma as the
> reward
> of accumulated merit.
> 
> I don't thing it really matters at first what we use
> to get ourselves going. When it's time to change for
> the better, we should try whatever works for us. If
> we're truly focusing on the spiritual, our outlook
> and
> motivations will naturally transform into something
> noble. This may take time, but it'll come about
> without
> our having to knowingly make an effort in that
> direction.
> 
> I'd say: try to be better and use whatever
> incentives
> reinforce being good. Even if you pretend to be
> better
> that you currently are, and live it out, you'll
> eventually
> find that the pretending fades away into genuine
> altruism.
> 
> Being selfless does not mean, I think, always doing
> things that benefit others, whatever the cost to
> you.
> It means doing what is right, best for *everyone*
> (including
> yourself), without the thought of self or "what's in
> it
> for me" biasing your experience. Although the
> ultimate
> good is always clearly seen and respected, there are
> times
> when you take care of yourself and your personal
> needs,
> just as there are times when you've totally given
> yourself
> to working for others without thought of reward.
> 
> -- Eldon
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to
> http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ 
> 
> 


__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Make a great connection at Yahoo! Personals.
http://personals.yahoo.com