Theos-Talk Archives (August 1998 Message tt00062)

Everybody Has A Dream

                 Some years ago I took on an assignment in a southern county
            to work with people on public welfare. What I wanted to do was
            show that everybody has the capacity to be self-sufficient and
            all we have to do is to activate them. I asked the county to pick
            a group of people who were on public welfare, people from
            different racial groups and different family constellations. I
            would then see them as a group for three hours every Friday. I
            also asked for a little petty cash to work with as I needed it.
                 The first thing I said after I shook hands with everybody
            was, “I would like to know what your dreams are.” Everyone looked
            at me as if I were kind of wacky.
                 “Dreams? We don’t have dreams.”
                 I said, “Well, when you were a kid what happened? Wasn’t
            there something you wanted to do?”
                 One woman said to me, “I don’t know what you can do with
            dreams. The rats are eating up my kids.”
                 “Oh,” I said. “That’s terrible. No, of course, you are very
            much involved with the rats and your kids. How can that be
            helped?”
                 “Well, I could use a new screen door because there are holes
            in my screen door.”
                 I asked, “Is there anybody around here who knows how to fix
            a screen door?”
                 There was a man in the group, and he said, “A long time ago
            I used to do things like that but now I have a terribly bad back,
            but I’ll try.”
                 I told him I had some money if he would go to the store and
            buy some screening and go and fix the lady’s screen door. “Do you
            think you can do that?”
                 “Yes, I’ll try.”
                 The next week, when the group was seated, I said to the
            woman, “Well is your screen door fixed?”
                 “Oh, yes,” She said.
                 Then we can start dreaming, can’t we?” She sort of smiled at
            me.
                 I said to the man who did the work, “How do you feel?”
                 He said, “Well, you know, it’s a very funny thing. I’m
            beginning to feel a lot better.”
                 That helped the group to begin to dream. These seemingly
            small successes allowed the group to see that dreams were not
            insane. These small steps began to get people to see and feel
            that something really could happen.
                 I began to ask other people about their dreams. One woman
            shared that she always wanted to be a secretary. I said, “Well,
            what stands in your way?” (That’s always my next question.)
                 She said, “I have six kids, and I don’t have anyone to take
            care of them while I’m away.”
                 “Let’s find out,” I said. “Is there anybody in this group
            who would take care of six kids for a day or two a week while
            this woman gets some training here at the community college?”
                 One woman said “I got kids, too, but I could do that.”
                 “Let’s do it,” I said. So a plan was created and the woman
            went to school.
                 Everyone found something. The man who put in the screen door
            became a handyman. The woman who took in the children became a
            licensed foster care person. In 12 weeks I had all these people
            off public welfare. I’ve not only done that once, I’ve done it
            many times.

                                 By Virginia Satir
                          from Chicken Soup for the Soul
                   Copyright 1993 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen