Theos-Talk Archives (July 1998 Message tt00116)

kymsmith@micron.net wrote:
Big snip...
> Life for some women is so complicated and terrifying that for them to just
> get out of bed in the morning makes them deserving of a medal.

Dear Kym:
I have no desire to get into a big thing about this because everything
you have said is real and "true".
The weight of male domination and the seemingly insurmountable state of
inequality is depressing, frustrating and debilitating.

After being on both sides of the fence, I can only speak my truth from
my heart...
When you say:
> A person cannot always have what he/she wants - no matter how hard they try.
> Prejudice, racism, sexism, poverty, physical or mental handicaps, age, and a
> billion other things stand in the way.  How one was raised and even
> nourished as a child can hinder a person's future.

I can only answer that IMHO, as soon as one accepts that thought, it
starts to manifest.  Reality then becomes "them who have" versus "us who
have not".  The experience of life then becomes "conquering the billions
of things that stand in the way".  The spirit becomes a warrior and the
balance between the dark side and light is thrown off.  It's a totally
different life experience than approaching life from the opposite mind
set.  From the thought that "I am where I am because I choose this.
Life is my choice, under my control, and I can be where I choose to be
if I think and act differently."

I think that a satisfying life is a balance of these two states.

You comment:
> It is admirable, Annette, that you were able to achieve your goals.  But to
> imply something like "If I can do it, anybody can" is being terribly unfair
> to people who were born into different circumstances, different
> opportunities, different environments, different support systems, and
> different mental capabilities.

I am sorry if my comments gave the implication that I am a success and
that anybody else should be able to do it.  Far from it.  I *am* finally
peaceful in myself about some of the things I set goals for and
achieved.  I *do* consider myself very blessed that I came into this
incarnation with the knowledge that my life was my own and only I should
dictate it's manifestation and only I could make it happen.  It gave me
a head start and was my protection from being "indoctrinated".  Many,
many individuals have helped me up when I stumbled and lost heart, when
I made drastic errors and got myself into bad situations.  None of that
help came from government or "offical" programs, and I turned to them
often.  From them I got rhetoric, promises, excuses, sob stories about
lack of funds and staff.  I found each time that a change in my
circumstances was directly related to a change in my attitude and a lot
of effort.  I'm still learning and trying to get it right.

And so....it may sound harsh, facetious, unfair....but I believe more
strongly now than when I came in, that we manifest our own life, create
our own reality or illusion and furthermore that if we walk on the dark
side the dark forces feed on that and the effort, pain, fear and
suffering is exacerbated.
My grandmother said it so well about marriage.....
"If two people love and respect each other they can live in a pig sty
with little and only experience happiness, security and peace."
She left me with no doubt that attaining love and respect takes
constant, lifetime effort.

I no longer belong to the feminist movement or any other "group", not
because the need for change is no longer but because I became aware that
the trend was for groups to spend more resources on their own existance
than on solving the problems or reaching the people of their mandate.
How can I explain this.....what we have done so far takes us only so
far.  The welfare system that is now being slowly dismantled due to lack
of funds went a long way to raising consciouness, providing a safety net
and eradicated the brutality of begging and poorhouses.  Unions did the
same for working practices.  etc. etc.  But nothing eradicated the
problem completely and as soon as one problem was tamed, another one
popped up.  I stuggled with this and figured there was a missing key
element.

I decided that key was individual "spirituality", so now I choose
personal and private action.

If I choose to imply anything it is this....
If anything in my life appears "achieved" and since I feel strongly that
I am no better, no different than any other human being, what I may have
"achieved" is there for any other human being.  I can lend a hand, I can
empathize, but I cannot change their lives.  They have that completely
within their power and control.
And I know I talk too much.
Cheers
Annette