Theos-Talk Archives (January 1998 Message tt00286)

At 12:30 PM 1/21/98 -0800, you wrote:
>John:
>
>[responding to MKR]
>
>>it is amazing that so many people would
>>justify letting people starve and die
>>since giving them food/shelter and medicine
>>would harm them (make them dependent).
>
>>the issue is *never* whether or not to help them.
>>The real issue is why do you not give them *more*?  like
>>an education, training, and a job they can support
>>themselves on??
>
>I'd agree that it's best that we take care of the
>immediate needs of others, including food, clothing,
>and shelter, but not stop at that. They also need
>help becoming self-sufficient and functional in their
>societies.
>
>There are models like Maslov's needs hierarchy, that
>outline how our basic needs come first, needs regarding
>personal survival, and as those needs are met higher
>needs can be addressed. This is true not only for
>ourselves, but also for those about us in a needy or
>helpless situation in life.
>
>We only have so much time, energy, and resources, and
>so have to be skillful in our giving. The generosity
>in our hearts needs a balancing force of prudence and
>common sense. If we're walking through the streets of
>city full of those in need, we could give a few dollars
>to each person that we meet, and soon end up with nothing
>in our pockets. Does this make sense? Who can say in an
>general sense? If we're attune with our hearts, though,
>we'll know what's right to do and when we may have to
>say "Sorry, I have nothing left to give."
>
>Being skillful in giving doesn't mean taking a passive
>role in life, it doesn't mean that we only give in
>response to the requests that karma brings our way.
>We don't, for instance, always give money to every
>charity that has someone call us on the phone. Why?
>Because we're the ones that best know what we uniquely
>have to share with the world, and we need to focus our
>energies and giving in such a way that we make the
>biggest contribution, the greatest expression of the
>Spirit, the most valued contribution to life. We
>respond to and interact with those that come our way
>in life, but still have some say over the outcome or
>direction or manner of participation that we take in life.
>
>One time we may empty our pockets for a needy person
>on the street, another time, we may respond with a
>kind, but firm, "Sorry, I can't help you this time,"
>when perhaps our money was intended to buy that special
>book that would change the life of yet another person
>with a different need.
>
>I saw a description of how any of us could pledge an
>amount of money and sponsor a Tibetan refugee child.
>We could all immediately respond to that appeal for
>help, but probably won't. Are we bad because of this?
>No, because our hearts are still in the right place.
>We just have other equally important demands on our
>time, energies, and resources, and are doing good in
>other ways. We're all saying "Sorry, I can't help you"
>all the time, although we may not mouth the words and
>be aware of doing it.
>
>What's important here, of vast importance, is that we
>don't harden our hearts and stop caring. We can't help
>everyone and everything, but we can make the world as
>bright a place as we can, and truly feel empathy and
>compassion for the needy that we say "no" to, as well
>as the needy that we are able to care for.
>
>-- Eldon


While there seems to be some impression that most who are in need and are
being helped by charity of the government etc. do not want to be self
sufficient. One time I made a comment in a grocery store that may be it is a
good idea to go on welfare so that all the basic needs are taken care of by
Govt. One woman who has there responded that she was at one time on welfare
and it is no fun being on welfare. Given a choice any day she would work and
earn and be self-sufficient and a dignity to herself. I suppose there are
many like her who are on welfare and dont know or cannot get out of it. Of
course any help anyone can give to anyone should be welcome. Such helping
will keep our hearts in a state of high sensitivity to those in need.

mkr