Theos-Talk Archives (January 1998 Message tt00278)

John:

[responding to MKR]

>it is amazing that so many people would
>justify letting people starve and die
>since giving them food/shelter and medicine
>would harm them (make them dependent).

>the issue is *never* whether or not to help them.
>The real issue is why do you not give them *more*?  like
>an education, training, and a job they can support
>themselves on??

I'd agree that it's best that we take care of the
immediate needs of others, including food, clothing,
and shelter, but not stop at that. They also need
help becoming self-sufficient and functional in their
societies.

There are models like Maslov's needs hierarchy, that
outline how our basic needs come first, needs regarding
personal survival, and as those needs are met higher
needs can be addressed. This is true not only for
ourselves, but also for those about us in a needy or
helpless situation in life.

We only have so much time, energy, and resources, and
so have to be skillful in our giving. The generosity
in our hearts needs a balancing force of prudence and
common sense. If we're walking through the streets of
city full of those in need, we could give a few dollars
to each person that we meet, and soon end up with nothing
in our pockets. Does this make sense? Who can say in an
general sense? If we're attune with our hearts, though,
we'll know what's right to do and when we may have to
say "Sorry, I have nothing left to give."

Being skillful in giving doesn't mean taking a passive
role in life, it doesn't mean that we only give in
response to the requests that karma brings our way.
We don't, for instance, always give money to every
charity that has someone call us on the phone. Why?
Because we're the ones that best know what we uniquely
have to share with the world, and we need to focus our
energies and giving in such a way that we make the
biggest contribution, the greatest expression of the
Spirit, the most valued contribution to life. We
respond to and interact with those that come our way
in life, but still have some say over the outcome or
direction or manner of participation that we take in life.

One time we may empty our pockets for a needy person
on the street, another time, we may respond with a
kind, but firm, "Sorry, I can't help you this time,"
when perhaps our money was intended to buy that special
book that would change the life of yet another person
with a different need.

I saw a description of how any of us could pledge an
amount of money and sponsor a Tibetan refugee child.
We could all immediately respond to that appeal for
help, but probably won't. Are we bad because of this?
No, because our hearts are still in the right place.
We just have other equally important demands on our
time, energies, and resources, and are doing good in
other ways. We're all saying "Sorry, I can't help you"
all the time, although we may not mouth the words and
be aware of doing it.

What's important here, of vast importance, is that we
don't harden our hearts and stop caring. We can't help
everyone and everything, but we can make the world as
bright a place as we can, and truly feel empathy and
compassion for the needy that we say "no" to, as well
as the needy that we are able to care for.

-- Eldon