Theos-Talk Archives (November 1997 Message tt00211)

Paul,

I really admire you. When I read your thoughts, I say to myself now this is
someone I should try to know better. Even when he aims his sharpest
criticism, it doesn't wound. Why is this? I think it must be that you have
lots of heart energy behind what you do.

Meanwhile, do you really think that you could live like I do? I do read and
study and try to live the life as it is recommended so that I may learn
more. When you ask if we are scholars or jackals, my honest reply is that
my life is filled with energy from great beings, but that I myself am a
"human being" which under the circumstances qualifies me as the "jackal"
side of the pair. Someday, if it might make sense, I may try to claim that
when I say "I AM," I am referring to both of these kinds of energies,
because all that is accumulated in me as human has either been combined
with their energies or is constructively directed alongside of "their"
(adepts) energies. But today it is still safer for me to separate the two
and to say that if there is good being done in my life it is definitely the
activity of great beings, ascended masters, angels, light bringers, etc.,
and when there is lowlife, error, falsity, etc., that is me, but believe me
I am trying to lessen my own activity and am working to only allow the
light to manifest. What a strange person that is!

I know that what I have to say isn't being listened to because it isn't in
exact agreement with the words written by those respected leaders; whether
we're talking about HPB, Leadbeater, or the Ballards. Nowhere have I read
what I have set in my mind is a valid explanation for what I have read. It
is just an interpretation, and I'm not asking anyone to try to live like I
do yet, but someday I'd really like to see an end to disease and death,
crime and war, selfishness and hate on the planet. How are we to
realistically work towards these goals? Well, perhaps I am taking someone
else's advice on this, but unfortunately you as much as I like your work,
are not providing us with any advice on how to do this.

Sometimes I wonder how people can expect to achieve illumination if they
don't strive to live the life. When you say criticism and I say gossip,
what are we really observing? I have observed "criticism" in what you do,
but when other people try to use criticism, there's something missing.
Should they be allowed to work in that damaging direction or should we try
to stop it?